


to all my stupid highschool crushes

by hamleting



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - To All the Boys I've Loved Before Fusion, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan is a Confident Gay, M/M, Making Out, Mark Lee (NCT) is a Panicked Gay, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Swearing, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24986083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamleting/pseuds/hamleting
Summary: Mark had a history with highschool crushes. And by history, he meant pouring all his feelings on paper and stuffing them in a little can inside his closet, never to be found. But the universe wasn't known for granting Mark with what he wanted, or rather, his little brother Jaemin was bored and just wanted to mess with his life.Basically, the main idea from To All the Boys I've Loved Before but with Mark Lee as the awkward protagonist, and a few changes to keep it interesting.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 29
Kudos: 272





	to all my stupid highschool crushes

Mark was only twelve when Taeyong moved next door and straight into his boring life. Because even if a twelve-year-old couldn't really expect a lot from life at that young age, he could still tell that the fact that someone new was moving to their ordinary neighborhood was something to be excited about. So that's why that remote Spring day he was hiding behind the curtains, his eyes spying everything with growing interest as the moving truck parked just outside.

"Boo!" his sister Mina screamed, making him jump, "Who are you spying, you little pervert?"

"Shut up!" Mark said as his face went red, "We've got new neighbors".

"Ohhh, let's take a look." His sister pushed him aside, leaving Mark with the smaller portion of the window.

And then Taeyong jumped out of his parents' car, dark hair bouncing from his bandana, his multiple earrings reflecting the sunlight like little stars. Mark could already tell he was the coolest person he'd ever seen, and apparently his sister thought the same thing.

"He's got a skateboard!" she said with excitement, "So cool. I think he's about my age, maybe we could go skateboarding together."

"I skate too."

"Sure you do, you can teach Jaemin while I go out with my new friend."

"No way! I'm sick of being his babysitter. Besides, I saw him first!" Mark said, pointing at their new neighbor who was busy exploring the plants in his front garden.

"Maybe, but I talked to him first."

"What?"

Mina pushed him over the sofa and laughed as she ran to the front door.

"You— shit!"

Although Mina _did_ get to meet Taeyong first, Mark joined them right after. It turned out Taeyong was fourteen, just like Mina, but that didn't stop Mark from becoming friends with him, too.

Eventually, he, Mina and Taeyong became really close, making their little brother Jaemin go crazy every time they went on adventures without him. The years went by, and their bond became so strong it felt as if they'd known each other since forever.

But everything changed when Mark turned fourteen. Well, at least for him.

At first he didn't quite understand what was happening to him. He started to feel very awkward whenever Mina went to the bathroom leaving him and Taeyong alone, for example. And suddenly he began to catch himself observing small things his friend did, like how he'd do little dance moves while they were waiting in line at the supermarket, or how he threw a high-pitched laugh whenever he was nervous. Although they were already friends Mark kept trying to find ways to impress him, like that time Taeyong posted a song on his SoundCloud called _GTA_ and Mark spent all night watching GTA gameplays so he could understand the references and talk about it with him.

It was Jaemin who first figured out what was going on.

"I may be younger than you, but I'm not dumb," his twelve-year-old brother had told him, "You think I never see your corny ass spying on him from the living room window?"

" _Shut the hell up_ ," Mark had said defensively, but it was true.

It had been a while since he discovered he liked guys, but the fact that Taeyong could be one of them had never crossed his mind. But it actually made sense, not only because of that amazing glow-up Taeyong had when he turned sixteen but because they had so many things in common. They both liked music and videogames, even though Mark would never understand the other's obsession with _Animal Crossing_.

But no, he couldn't have a crush on Taeyong. He couldn't ruin everything they had built over the years, especially since Mark didn't have a lot of friends at school. So, he bottled up his stupid teenager emotions and went on with his life.

That is, until he turned fifteen, and after the little party he had with his friends — in which they emptied some stolen beers from Taeyong's fridge — he found Mina and Taeyong kissing behind some bushes.

That was it for Mark. His poor, angsty heart shattered in more pieces than stars in the sky, and holding back his tears he went up to his room and poured all his emotions on paper, just like he did every time he experienced unrequited love. The words came out of him in a rush of black ink and shaky traces, and he didn't even read it before folding it a million times and stuffing it in his little can with the other ones.

Not one tear escaped his eyes that night, and he swore to never tell anyone about that huge crush he once had on his neighbor.

Mark is sixteen now, locked in his room as always and trying to finish a song he's writing. Since he's learned to play the guitar he spends all his time trying to improve. Even when he only knew four chords he'd composed a song — a lame song, yes, but _his_ lame song, after all. He can't sing for shit, though, but he still writes lyrics for all of them. Someone has to be interested in them at _some_ point, right?

" _MARK LEE,_ " his little brother yells while pounding on his door, " _LEAVE YOUR CHEESY SONGS FOR LATER, WE HAVE GUESTS_."

Mark rolls his eyes but opens the door, "No need to wake the neighbors," he tells Jaemin as he puts on his grey hoodie.

"It's eight p.m., dumbass, no one's sleeping. And speaking of neighbors..." Jaemin moves to the side, revealing a white-haired Taeyong that was hiding behind him. Mark's chest flutters, making his brain curse his stupid little heart in seven different languages.

"Surprise!" Taeyong says, showing off his new hair color. He changes it almost twenty times a year, and at this point Mark and Mina seriously suspect he's made a deal with the devil so that his hair won't fall off.

"Taeyong, hey." Mark fixes his own hair mindlessly, closing the door of his messy, messy room with his foot.

"You like it?"

"Yeah! It really suits you. I mean, everything suits you. Like, every hair color, I mean".

Jaemin gives him a funny look behind Taeyong and Mark makes the promise to punch him later.

"I don't think Mina likes it, though," Taeyong says, scratching his neck, "She had this weird reaction..."

Oh yeah, after that doomful day that was his fifteen-year-old birthday party Mina and Taeyong had started dating. It was uncomfortable as fuck at first, not only due to Mark's stupid crush on the guy but because they were supposed to be a group of _friends_. Now Mark has become the little brother who tags along on their dates or something. But he's gotten used to it. Sort of.

They go down to the dining room where Mark's mom and Mina are setting the table, and Taeyong approaches Mina from behind and gives her a quick hug, making Mark feel all shaky once more. It really sucks not being able to get over him, and having to see him almost every day doesn't exactly help.

They have chicken for dinner and Mark's mom insists on giving Taeyong just one more serving, since she's over the moon for him and is always saying he looks way too skinny, although the guy eats just as much as them plus every sweet he can find.

But the vibe is off this night. Usually Mina's all lively and the one who carries the conversation, but now she's oddly quiet and playing with the potatoes on her plate. Jaemin doesn't seem to care, though, and he seizes the opportunity to torture them by narrating all the shenanigans he and his little gang did that day at school.

After dinner his mom urges Mark and Jaemin to do the dishes and it's at this moment, when Mark's hands are soaked in shiny white bubbles, that Jaemin approaches slowly and says to him, _Mina broke up with Taeyong_.

Mark's eyebrows almost touch the ceiling as he faces his little brother, who has the same confused expression as him.

"What? But they were just fine."

"I know, I can't believe she didn't consult us!"

Mark stays frozen, a dripping plate on his hand, water still flowing from the tap. His mind seems to be divided in two — on the one hand, Taeyong, the seemingly unforgettable and biggest crush of his life, is no longer dating his sister, which means Mark doesn't have to endure that suffering anymore. But on the other hand, his sister, whom he cares for more than anything, has just broken up with the guy she had claimed to be her _soulmate_. It doesn't make any sense.

But later that night it does.

Mark goes over to Mina's room later, and tells him everything. She's finally been accepted at the college of her dreams, and that means moving to another city far, far away. _It's better this way_ , Mina says. Better than slowly drifting apart because of a long-distance relationship.

Mark feels sorry for her, he really does. But does this mean he can't be friends with Taeyong now? That's too of an insensitive question to ask Mina, but he can't help but wonder.

After Mina leaves for college things begin to change. Now that she isn't around Mark is the one who has to drive him and Jaemin to school, and he freaking hates driving. He never knows which mirror to check and has at least five heart attacks per block, leaving aside the endless screeching and cursing from his brother whenever Mark accidentally misses a stop sign or forgets to take a turn.

It also feels lonely as hell. At school he usually spends time with his friend Johnny, but ever since he got a boyfriend he was either with him or talking about him. It wouldn't be a problem if he knew he could hang out with Mina and Taeyong after class, but now he can't even do that. And he still hasn't brought it up with either one of them.

That's why he's all alone when Renjun comes to annoy him, as always.

"Watch where you're going," Renjun mutters as he intentionally steps on his way, making him bump against some lockers.

" _Asshole,_ " Mark breathes.

"The one in your mirror, maybe."

"That's the best you've got? Cause it's lame as fuck."

"I don't wanna waste my breath."

It's the same shit every day. Mark doesn't even get offended at this point, honestly. But it's freaking annoying.

"Waste your breath on what?"

Mark turns to Donghyuck, who's just joined their conversation and is now hugging Renjun from behind. "Hey, Mark," he greets him while resting his chin on Renjun's shoulder.

"Just Mediocre Mark, bumping on everyone," Renjun tells his boyfriend, "He must be too busy thinking about those mediocre songs he posts on Instagram".

"I didn't know that, what songs?" Donghyuck says, reaction that gains a cold glare from Renjun.

"Whatever," this one says, "Let's go".

Donghyuck shrugs and follows his boyfriend to their next class. Sometimes Mark is amazed by how much everything has changed. Once upon a time, they were all friends — Mark, Renjun, Donghyuck, Johnny. But that was when they were kids, almost a lifetime ago. People change, and it's fine. It's whatever.

It's Friday night, and Mark and Jaemin are marathoning Naruto for like the twentieth time while their mom makes hot chocolate for the three of them.

"When are you going to make friends?" Jaemin says all of a sudden, mouth filled with popcorn.

"What? I have friends."

"Johnny hasn't come over in ages, and I know you're not speaking with... Anyway, you should get a boyfriend or something. You're sixteen, for Christ's sake."

" _That's_ offensive. Not everything in life is about getting a boyfriend and partying, you know."

"True, but it's just so clearly what _you_ want, yet you don't do anything about it."

"What do you know about what I want?"

"You are Mark, your face is more readable than a stop sign."

Mark doesn't have a clue what he means by that, but he won't admit he's right about the boyfriend thing either. He isn't dumb enough to give Jaemin the satisfaction.

"I just worry about you, you know," Jaemin says as he hides his face in his mug, "My poor antisocial bother."

Mark lifts his hand and pushes Jaemin's mug to his face, making him spill hot chocolate all over his pajamas. It's not a good idea, since it ends up in them having a popcorn war and their mom making them clean up the mess afterwards.

"Hey, can you give me a ride after school?" Jaemin asks a few days later at the cafeteria.

"I don't give _rides_ , I only drive us to school and back because I have no choice."

" _Pleaseeeee_ " Jaemin says as he clings to his arm, "Jeno's birthday is just around the corner and I have to buy him a present."

"Why don't you take the bus? God knows it's safer than having me behind the wheel."

"I don't like buses! I'll pay you."

And that's how Jaemin always gets what he wants. For some reason he seems to have endless amounts of cash to bribe whoever he needs to, whenever he needs to.

"Where are we going?" Mark as later in their car.

"Pattie's bookstore."

He drives them there, fully aware that the bookstore is just a few stores away from the record store where Taeyong works. It's been a month since Mina's left, and Mark and Taeyong haven't talked to each other since. He doesn't even know how that conversation would go, but he sure as hell isn't starting it.

Mark should've known Jaemin was up to something when he asked him to go into the bookstore with him.

"Now that I recall," his brother says when they're about to enter, "there's this CD Jeno said he wanted."

"No, _hell_ no, I'm going back in the car."

"Oh, come on! This is so stupid, just talk to him!" Jaemin pleads, shaking his arm. Mark yanks it back.

"Fine! But you better be fucking quick."

Jaemin gives him a smug smile and heads over to the record store.

"Hey, Yong," he greets Taeyong over the sound of the little door bell.

From the counter, Taeyong lifts his head and looks at them. His hair is bubblegum pink now, and it looks so damn good on him Mark thinks he'll pass out. It's always amazed him how well Taeyong sort of blends into the record store, like he belongs there. There's always some super underground band, only known by Taeyong and a few other music geeks, playing in the background, and everything is just so timeless and _different_ from any other regular store — the posters hanging on the walls reminiscent of the late 80s, the mismatched lamps that are placed all over the store, each showing off a unique design — Mark feels out of place whenever he goes in, almost standing out because of his lack of extravaganza.

Taeyong locks eyes with him, making his heart rate skyrocket, and gives him a shy smile.

"Be right back!" Jaemin tells Mark before rushing over to the CDs section.

Mark looks at Taeyong, who awkwardly drifts his attention towards a box full of pins.

"It's been a while," Taeyong says as he empties the box on the counter and starts classifying the pins by color, a pointless effort since they are all going back in the box anyway, "How are you?"

"Fine, I guess. It's weird without Mina," Mark says, because he's a moron who always says the wrong thing. "Fuck, sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned her—"

"It's okay!" Taeyong offers him an uncertain smile, "She's your sister, after all."

They stay in awkward silence, the only sound being the one of the pins scratching against the glass as Taeyong moves them around. Mark feels like he'll throw up any second if no one says anything.

"I hate this," he blurts out before that happens.

Taeyong raises his glittery eyes at him, wary, "What?"

"This whole thing. It's, like, so weird— nothing makes sense." Mark looks away since he realizes that he's most evidently freaking out, "I don't know, I mean, is it wrong if... Can we still be friends?"

Taeyong looks surprised at first. Then, he lets out a little laugh that makes Mark's heart automatically melt, "Of course we can."

Mark lets out a sigh and approaches the counter, "I don't want it to be, like, _awkward_ or anything, I just—"

"Mark, it's okay."

Taeyong looks at him with his big dark eyes, making Mark's heart jump all over his chest. He looks away, scared that his face might betray him.

"If you say so. What are these things?" he says, grabbing a handful of pins. He knows damn well what they are, but if Taeyong keeps staring at him like that it's gonna be Jaemin the one who drives them back home. Or rather, to the hospital.

"Ah, Mark Lee. What a lovely coincidence," a soft voice says behind him. Mark turns around to find Donghyuck, the delicate features of his face colliding with the roughness of his leather jacket. The guy has a few CD's in his hand — _why do people still buy CDs?? —_ and is grinning at him.

"Um, hey" Mark says.

"Listen, there's something I need to tell you concerning..." He reaches inside his jacket and pulls out a small piece of paper, "This little thing."

Mark looks at the paper, confused, "What is that?"

"You... Wrote it for me, I think?" He laughs, "I mean I'm beyond flattered, but you're not really my type."

A big black pit opens in Mark's stomach when he recognizes the small paper Donghyuck is holding, and his thoughts go a thousand miles per second as he snatches it from his hand and reads it.

 _Fuck_.

"Wha— how— who gave this to you?" Mark blurts out as his heart starts hammering against his chest.

"Uh, I thought _you_ did?"

"Mark, you okay?" Taeyong asks, giving a concerned look at Mark's shaky hands.

 _Oh, fuck_.

Mark grabs Donghyuck by the arm and drags him to the back of the store, away from a very confused Taeyong.

"Easy there, cowboy," Donghyuck complains, breaking free from his grasp with a huff.

" _Where the hell did you get this?_ " Mark says in a hushed voice as he breaks the paper in pieces, his nerves making his whole body tremble.

"Hey! I wanted to keep that!"

"Answer me!"

"It was in my locker, nicely folded and all." Hyuck pouts, "Ahh, was it a prank, then? I got all excited for nothing."

"What are you talking about? No, it's not a prank!"

"So you _did_ write it?"

"Yeah!"

"Oww."

Mark presses his lips as his ears go red, "Don't _oww_ me, that was a fucking long time ago."

"So you're not in love with me?"

"No!"

Donghyuck makes another exaggerated pout, batting his eyelashes, "You don't think my voice is sweet as honey and my eyes deep as the ocean?"

Now Mark's whole face goes red.

Alright, he once had a crush on Donghyuck, but that was when they were twelve or something, and it only lasted a few weeks. A lot has happened ever since, and Mark had already forgotten about the whole thing.

"I don't know how this ended up in your locker," Mark says, raising the pieces of paper to Donghyuck's eyes, "but you better not tell anyone about it. Especially your stupid boyfriend."

"Ex, actually."

"Whatever."

Donghyuck, who's looking more amused than anything, sighs dramatically as he tilts his head, "I really wanted to keep it, though."

"What?"

"I mean, no one had written me a _poem_ before, it was about damn time."

Mark glares at him in silence. Donghyuck is really enjoying this, little smile on his freaking face. He may have, as cringy as it sounds, _a voice sweet as honey_ , but Mark knows his evil nature far too well. "Just— don't talk about this ever again."

Mark leaves him and he makes his way back to the counter, but what he finds there makes him want to bury himself under a billion-trillion CDs.

Taeyong is holding a piece of paper, a _very familiar_ piece of paper, his eyes lost in its content. Mark feels as if an army of ants is crawling all over his body, his head too cloudy to come up with any reasonable thoughts, as Taeyong slowly looks up at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Mark doesn't hesitate. He just runs the fuck out of there.

Mark can feel blood pounding against his ears as he makes his way to the car. The brightness of the afternoon sun suddenly seems too sharp, and he fumbles with the car keys as his shaky hands don't seem to cooperate.

" _FUCK!"_ he yells once he's inside, hands pulling his hair.

Why does he have it? How is it possible? They were all in his room, in his little can, in his very, _very_ secret place inside his closet. Now that things had apparently gone back to normal with Taeyong, this shit happenes.

He hears a tap at the window and jumps, his heart rate going through the roof. It's just Donghyuck.

Mark reaches towards the co-pilot window and lowers it down, "What do you want?"

"You okay? I've never seen anyone run so fast from a record store."

"No, I'm not freaking _okay_! I don't know what the hell is going on!" Mark grabs the steering wheel anxiously, and when he looks through the rearview mirror his blood goes cold.

Taeyong and Jaemin are approaching, Jaemin wearing a bemused expression on his face.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

" _What, what, what?_ " Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at him, his arms resting on the open window.

"Get in the car," Mark says without thinking, " _Get in the car!_ "

The other one gives him a funny look, but obeys. As soon as he closes the door Mark hits the gas.

"Woah! Buy me some flowers first?" Donghyuck laughs and puts on his seatbelt hastily, clearly alarmed by Mark's driving abilities.

"Shut up."

Mark drives as fast as he can without drawing too much attention, and after a sharp turn he parks messily like he always does. Probably more.

"You've got some driving skills," Donghyuck says after a _whoosh_.

Mark looks over his shoulder at the busy streets of the little town. Jaemin and Taeyong are nowhere to be seen.

"So, you're gonna tell me what's going on or I'll just have to assume you've kidnapped me?"

Mark presses his eyes shut and bumps his head on the steering wheel, letting out a waterfall of curses as he does so.

" _Okaaay_ " Hyuck mumbles, raising his eyebrows, "Not gonna lie, Mark Lee, you're quite weird."

Mark moves his head just a little so that he can look at him, hiding his now pale face, "You know that— that _thing_ you found in your locker?" he asks, voice barely audible.

"That dashingly romantic poem, you mean?"

"I... I wrote a bunch of them," Mark shuts his eyes as the reality of the situation sinks in. Is he having a nightmare? If so it better end fucking soon. "Five, to be exact."

"Ohhh," Hyuck grins, "I didn't know you were such a player."

"Ugh, I just— that was a long time ago, okay? I don't do that shit anymore."

"So that scrawny guy with the pink hair got one, too?"

"He's not— wait, how did you know?"

"I think the horror in your face when you saw him coming to the car gave you away."

"Ugh, good _L_ _ord,_ " Mark says, bumping his head once more.

"Come on, it's not that bad. Just tell him you were a kid when you wrote it." Donghyuck pouts, holding a hand to his chest, "Break his little pink heart, just like you did with mine."

"It's not that simple, he's not just a _guy_ , he's Mina's ex and— and—" Mark stutters, not knowing how to finish that sentence.

"Ohhhh! You still like him, don't you?"

Mark's face goes from paper white to bright red, "No! I don't— I _can't_ like him, it's not gonna happen. I can't do that to Mina."

"Why don't you tell him the truth?"

"I don't even know what the truth is, I just— I just want him to think that I don't feel that way anymore."

"Tell him that, then."

"Have you seen me? I think I would fucking collapse if I even tried to have that conversation with him."

"Ahhh, Mark, Mark," Donghyuck says as he shakes his head, "Life's not that complicated."

"It is for me."

Donghyuck looks at the passing cars for a while, a hand under his chin, and suddenly it hits Mark how _bizarre_ this whole situation is — him and Donghyuck, from all people, hiding in his car as he's slowly reaching a mental breakdown? He doesn't think he's spent this much time with the guy since they were, what, twelve? And why did he like him back then, again?

"I know," Donghyuck says as he turns towards him, grinning, "Just tell him you're dating me!"

Mark raises his eyebrows, shocked by the ridiculous proposal, "Um, what?"

"Think about it!" he says, excited, "He already saw me getting in your car, and the way you dragged me to the back of the store— there sure was some _passion_ right there."

"No! What? You're crazy."

"You don't have to tell him we're a couple or anything."

"What would you get out of it?"

Hyuck gasps, "You _wound_ me, Mark Lee, thinking I'm unable of doing things just for the greater good!"

Mark glares at him.

"Fine, I do think it would benefit me too."

"How so?"

"I just told you, Renjun broke up with me."

"He _always_ breaks up with you."

"Yeah, but this time he's taking longer than usual to come to his senses and it's driving me crazy," he tilts his head at Mark, "Maybe we can make him _and_ pink guy jealous."

"I don't want to make Taeyong _jealous_!"

"Whatever! Are you in or not?"

Mark looks through the window as he considers. Would that be a good idea? No, it definitely was a _terrible_ idea, but just the thought of walking up to Taeyong and try to explain how he actually isn't all that crazy about him, even though that is also a stupid, _stupid_ lie, and Mark can't really lie without malfunctioning every two seconds—

He doesn't get to decide, because Jaemin appears behind Donghyuck's window and starts tapping it like crazy. He raises his hands at Mark and mouths, _What the hell?_

Mark looks around nervously, but Taeyong is nowhere to be seen.

Donghyuck looks at Jaemin and then back at Mark. "Just think about it, poetry boy. Talk with your pillow or however that metaphor goes," he says before getting out of the car.

Once Jaemin settles and secures his seatbelt he turns towards his brother, looking _Big Time Offended_ , "That was very nice of you, leaving me behind in this terrifying town. I could've been _kidnapped_ , someone could've sold my _organs_!"

"Shut up," Mark exhales, starting the engine, "Just— shut up."

They drive in silence for a while, Mark wearing a pained expression as he tries to process everything that's just happened.

"Ugh, I can't believe Jeno says I look like this guy!" Jaemin complains as he looks at the CD he's just bought, "Why is his hair so white? Is he an old man or what?"

"What group is it?" Mark asks, trying to keep his mind off the subject.

"NCT Dream."

Mark scoffs, " _NCT Dream_?"

"I know." Jaemin rolls his eyes, putting the CD back in the bag, " _Lameee!_ "

As soon as they get home Mark rushes to his room and opens his closet. He reaches up to the top shelve and throws everything to the floor, desperately looking for the little silver can, and his heart drops to the floor.

It's not there.

He then proceeds to turn his room upside down, and soon he's swimming in a sea of clothes, underwear, notepads and who knows what else.

"What is all this?" his mom asks from the door, her eyes painfully taking in the mess her son's just made.

"Have you seen my can? My silver can?" Mark says, a blue t-shirt hanging from his head.

"What can?" His mom approaches and grabs the t-shirt, "Are you feeling alright?"

"No! I need to find it! A little can, mom, silver. Are you sure you haven't seen it?"

"No, honey, I don't think so..."

His mom puts a hand on his shoulder just as Jaemin peeks his head through the door , "Seriously, mom, you're telling _me_ my room is messy?"

And suddenly, it hits him.

" _You,"_ Mark says as he stands up, voice filled with hatred, " _You_ took it, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I know it was you, you little shit!"

"Mark!" their mom yells, "Don't talk to your brother like that."

"Do you know what he's done? He's ruined my life!" he yells as he points at Jaemin, who looks amused, "Don't fucking look at me like that!"

"You were lacking some excitement in your life, I just gave you a little push."

"Oh, I'll give you a little _push_."

To make it short, it goes ugly. After chasing Jaemin down the stairs and into the garden Mark catches his brother and takes him down in the midst of a swear storm, the only reason he doesn't kill him right then and there being that their mom comes right after and separates them. She makes them both apologize to each other and clean up Mark's room as a punishment.

"I fucking hate you," Mark says to Jaemin as he folds some trousers.

"Just wait and see, you'll love me."

That night he barely sleeps. He feels this huge rock in his stomach that refuses go away, a mixture of guilt and shame. Usually when he feels like this he takes advice from Mina, but he clearly can't do that right now. They have face timed for about an hour earlier, and Mark was so jumpy he kept telling her that he had to go to the bathroom when in fact he was having a mental breakdown behind the scenes. Of course Mina sensed something was off, but Mark told her he was just worried about exam season or some shitty excuse like that — he can't really remember.

He shifts on his bed and thinks about Donghyuck's proposal. It sure was a delirious idea, but could it fix it all? Maybe? He doesn't have the guts to actually talk about his love declaration to Taeyong, but if the guy thinks he's dating someone else, maybe they won't have to talk about it at all. They can just brush it off, a silent understanding, and Mina won't have to ever find out about it.

Maybe.

So the next day, with just a few hours of sleep on him, Mark approaches Donghyuck in the school corridor, every step he takes feeling like he's gonna pass out.

"Let's do it," he says quietly after making sure Donghyuck is all by himself, "Let's, fake date, or whatever."

At first Donghyuck looks surprised, like he wasn't expecting Mark to actually accept his crazy idea, but then he smiles, "Alright."

And then he does something that almost gives Mark a panic attack — he grabs him by the waist and pulls him closer, leaning in for a kiss.

"Woah!" Mark jumps and takes a step back, accidentally bumping into some girl who's passing by. The girl frowns at him, and when Mark looks around nervously he finds that a few peers are looking at them.

Face already going red, he apologizes to the girl and hastily drags Donghyuck towards the restrooms.

"You've got to _stop_ dragging me around like that," Donghyuck complains as Mark checks the stalls to make sure they're all alone.

" _What the hell were you doing?_ " he hisses once he's certain they're not being heard.

"Uh, we're _dating_ now?" Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at him, "People who date kiss."

"Okay, first of all that doesn't apply to everyone, and second of all we are _fake_ dating!"

"How are people supposed to know we are together, smartass? Telekinesis?"

"It's _telepathy_. And I don't know, but no kissing!"

"Okay, okay!" Donghyuck raises his hands and leans against the door, "No kissing, then. What else?"

Mark thinks for a moment. "We'll do it for a month max, no more than that. And you can't tell anyone about it, that'd be fucking embarrassing."

"Alright, deal."

"Deal."

They stay in awkward silence, not sure how to proceed. Donghyuck crosses his arms, his posture exuding that confidence that never leaves him despite his short stature and sort of innocent-looking face. As Mark looks at his thought-out outfit consisting on ripped black jeans and a white t-shirt that makes his golden skin stand out, he realizes how messy himself must look with his worn-out hoodie and increasing dark circles, not to mention his alarming case of bed hair.

"I'll be honest with you," Donghyuck says, breaking the silence, "You look like shit."

"Gee, thanks."

"I mean, if we're gonna pretend we're dating you've got to loosen up a little. No one's gonna believe we're a thing if you're in full emo mode."

Donghyuck moves closer and starts fixing his hair, making Mark tense up and close his hands around the straps of his backpack, intimidated by the sudden closeness. Even if he's taller than Donghyuck, the guy has such a strong presence Mark feels two centimeters tall next to him, and he starts to feel even smaller as he feels his warm fingers wander through his hair, his doe eyes dark and big as they concentrate. Mark's not really used to people touching him, either, and he tries not to think about the blush that is surely on his cheeks as he restrains himself from yeeting out of this planet.

" _Voilà!" Donghyuck_ says when he finishes, making Mark sigh in relief, "Now, I can't do much about those panda eyes so you're gonna have to flash some smiles when we go out there."

"Whatever."

Suddenly, two guys bust the door open, making Mark jump and step a meter away from Donghyuck. It's Yuta and Sicheng, and telling by the way they are holding each other they are on their way to a heated session of sorts, but when they see them standing in the middle of the room they share a look and grin.

"You're not wasting your time, Hyuck," Yuta says, amused.

"You know what they say," this one replies with a wink.

He doesn't finish that sentence, so Mark never gets to find out _what they say_.

At lunch time Mark goes looking for Johnny, since he hasn't seen him in a while. He can't tell him about his whole deal with Donghyuck because that would mean confessing his crush on Taeyong and he sure as hell isn't spilling _that_ tea, or whatever the kids say these days. But he's desperate to talk with someone about anything. Even if that anything turns out to be Johnny yapping non-stop about his boyfriend.

"I'm telling you, we're meant to be. We went on this date the other day, some baristas taught us how to make cappuccinos and Jaehyun deadass _spilled_ the whole thing, it was so cute."

"How is that a sign that you are meant to be?" Mark asks as they get in line at the cafeteria.

"I know how to make coffee — he doesn't. I can make it for him. It's a sign!"

"Sure."

They are serving pasta, and even though it's his favorite Mark only fills half his plate. He can still feel the guilt rock in the pit of his stomach and the mere thought of food makes it feel heavier.

"What's up with you lately?" Johnny asks, filling his own plate.

"What do you mean? I'm swell."

"You think I don't know you? Come on."

"Nothing, there's nothing wrong. I think love is clouding your judgement."

Mark makes his way to the tables and Johnny follows. "I know what'll cheer you up," Johnny insists, "There's this party Jaehyun told me about—"

"You know I hate parties."

"No way! We used to party all the time with the guys!"

"You mean that one time we stole some liquor with Mina and Taeyong and ended up with a collective hangover the next day?"

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun!"

"I don't know..."

Mark's words trail off as he feels a warm hand on his shoulder, and he instinctively jumps at the touch.

"Hey, baby," he hears a sweet voice say, and before Mark can do anything Donghyuck is already bending down and kissing him lightly on the cheek.

Johnny stares at them in shock, fork mid-way between the plate and his mouth. And just like that Mark goes all red for like the tenth time that day.

"Um, hey," he says back at Donghyuck, shoulders tense.

"I saved you a seat." Donghyuck points towards a table full of people and looks at Johnny, "You can come, too."

Mark shoots Johnny a menacing look, but Johnny's already grinning. "That would be _so_ great,", he says, standing up, "Right, Mark?"

Mark suddenly feels like a little child being the victim of a cruel, cruel joke. He just stays there, frozen, so Donghyuck bends down again and puts his mouth to Mark's ear," _Come on, Renjun is watching._ " he whispers, giving him goosebumps. Mark follows his eyes until they find the guy in question, who is shooting Mark a poisonous look from the far corner of the cafeteria.

"A little smile wouldn't hurt, too," Donghyuck adds, pinching Mark's cheek. Mark lets out a short sigh and forces a smile. This is way harder than he thought.

Donghyuck's table is so crowded Mark isn't sure they'll fit, and they don't, but still somehow manage to squeeze themselves between Jungwoo and Doyoung.

Over the years, and ever since their little group split up, Donghyuck and Renjun's popularity had increased just as much as Mark's had decreased. So, he _does_ know the people who are now throwing curious glances at them, but they aren't all that familiar with each other. Yuta and Sicheng, the guys who found them in the restroom earlier, share a knowing look between them.

"So, about the party," Taeil, who's a senior just as Yuta and Doyoung, is saying, "Just give me a list with everything you want and I'll get it, but for the love of God write it on your phone cause if I have to try and _decipher_ your lame ass handwritings like last time..."

Donghyuck taps Mark's shoulder, making him drift his attention away from Taeil. They're sitting a little too close for Mark's own peace of mind, who can even sense the warmth of Donghyuck's body and the sweet cologne he's wearing — so close he's afraid he might try to kiss him again.

"We're going to that party," Donghyuck says, low enough so that only Mark can hear, his doe eyes feeling close and intimate, " _Everyone_ is going, if you know what I'm saying, so maybe you can invite your pink friend too."

Mark's stomach turns at the mention of Taeyong, "Uh, we haven't, like, _talked_ yet. It'd be sort of random."

Hyuck holds his gaze for a moment, making Mark nervously look away."Okay," Donghyuck says lightly as he starts eating, "We'll just swing by the record store after class, then."

Mark gulps nervously, looking down at his still full plate. He's already regretting this.

Mark is supposed to drive Jaemin home after school, so instead of going to the record store with Donghyuck they decide to meet there later.

"But put on something more... Anything will do, to be honest," Donghyuck had told him, giving a judgmental look at the grey hoodie Mark wore every day of his life.

He goes for a classic jean shirt, and he's calmly walking down the stairs when the doorbell rings. Jaemin, who's already on the ground floor, answers, and Mark freezes right in the middle of the stairs as his brother slowly turns his head towards him and grins. He really looked like the grinch whenever he did that.

"Oh, _Maaaaark,_ " Jaemin sings mockingly, "I didn't know you had a _date_."

He fully opens the door then, revealing a polished-looking Donghyuck with a white sweater. He surely knows white is a color that suits him, since it makes a nice contrast with his golden skin. "Hey," Donghyuck says with a little wave, looking up at him.

Mark finally unfreezes and trots down the stairs, "Um, hey. I thought we were meeting at the store."

"What kind of guy would I be if I didn't give my date a ride?"

Mark scratches the back of his neck and glances at Jaemin, who's silently enjoying the situation while he sucks on a blue lollipop.

"Besides," Donghyuck goes on, "I've seen you drive and I don't feel like waiting for you all day cause you accidentally ran into a house or something."

"It's not that bad," Mark says at the same time that Jaemin says, _Can you drive us to school from now on?_

Hyuck ignores Mark and chuckles at his brother's request.

" _Alriiiight,_ " Mark interrupts, pushing Jaemin so that he can step outside, "I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay," Jaemin says, watching them make their way to the car, "Have fun! But not too much fun!"

Mark glares at his little brother as this one sticks out his blue tongue and closes the door.

"Last time I saw Jaemin he was a toddler," Donghyuck says as they get in the car.

"Yeah, I think I liked him better when he couldn't talk."

As Donghyuck starts the car music starts flowing from the radio. Mark is grateful — he's had his fair share of awkward situations that day and a silent car won't be any good.

"You look nice," Donghyuck says after throwing a quick glance at him, "I mean, I know you're head over heels for that awful hoodie but you wear it, like, _every day_ for school, do you even wash it?"

"How do you know I wear it every day?"

Donghyuck shrugs, "I pay attention to things like that."

Mark glances nervously at the passing trees as Daft Punk's _Instant Crush_ starts playing. How ironic. "What are we supposed to do once we get there?"

"I don't know, just go with the flow."

They get to the record store way too fast for Mark's liking, and his stomach starts turning again. Donghyuck turns off the engine and the radio goes automatically silent. "Relax, Mark Lee," he teases when he sees him fidgeting with the sleeves of his shirt, "Or have you changed your mind already?"

Mark glares at him and gets off the car. Donghyuck follows, and when they are just a few meters from the store he slides his hand in Mark's. Mark looks down at them and then raises an eyebrow at Donghyuck.

"It's a _date_ , remember?" this one says as he shakes his arm, " _Smileee!_ "

Mark forces himself to do so, but the moment they step in the store it's all hell inside him again. Just like a wicked _déjà vu —_ the door bell, Taeyong with pink hair, Taeyong's dark eyes piercing him from behind the counter. Mark doesn't know what to say, and apparently Taeyong doesn't know either, given the way he's blatantly staring at Donghyuck and Mark's entwined hands.

"Hello!" Hyuck says, bringing them all back to reality, "We'll just take a look," he tells Taeyong as he drags Mark towards the stands.

"Okay," Taeyong says, throwing Mark a puzzled look. Mark looks away nervously and follows Donnghyuck to the back of the store.

"See, baby, this is the one I've been telling you about," Donghyuck says playfully as he shows him a random vinyl from the 80s, "Remember that my birthday is just in a couple weeks."

"You know he can't hear us from there, right?"

"Oh, Mark Lee, you're no fun." Donghyuck puts the vinyl back and continues searching the store, still holding his hand.

Mark glances quickly over his shoulder and sees that Taeyong is still at the counter, talking with some customers. He suddenly feels bad about the whole thing — he hates lying and it's obviously so stupid, but he doesn't want to face him and his feelings either.

His attention is suddenly brought back towards Donghyuck, who's singing softly as he studies the cover of an indie CD, " _You're asking me, will my love grow, I don't know, I don't know,_ " he sings over George Harrison's voice that flows from the speakers. The sweetness of his voice takes Mark by surprise, and he can't help but stare at him. " _You stick around, now it may show, I don't know, I don't know_."

Donghyuck apparently feels Mark's eyes on him, because he stops singing and looks up from the CD with a defensive frown, " _What?_ "

"Nothing," Mark says quickly, looking away, "I just didn't know you could sing."

"Oh."

They keep on exploring the stands, Mark throwing glances at the front of the store every now and then. They are still holding hands even though Taeyong probably can't see them from there, and Mark is so focused on the pink-haired guy he doesn't even flinch when Donghyuck playfully puts his head against his shoulder, "Come on, pretend I just told you some hilarious joke. That'll make him _mad_ jealous."

"I _told_ you, I'm not trying to make him jealous!" Mark says in a hushed voice. Donghyuck ignores him and keeps flipping through some CDs.

"Hey, you know about that singer who committed suicide?" he asks suddenly.

"What singer?"

"I don't remember, but he didn't leave a single _note_." Donghyuck looks at him expectantly, and Mark stares in horror as the bad pun sinks in.

"Oh my god," Mark says, hiding his face in his hand.

"What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?"

"Don't."

" _Feyonce_."

Mark covers his face even more and tries not to laugh, but fails.

"Just one more," Donghyuck says, his face lighting up, "What's a golf club's favorite type of music? Swing!"

"Stop," Mark pleads as he shakes his head, "They are so bad, I'm literally dying of cringe."

"Made you laugh," Donghyuck says proudly, and then stands on his toes to whisper to his ear, " _And he noticed, too_."

Mark looks over his shoulder and catches Taeyong staring at them just a second before quickly looking away. He feels the guilt rock in his stomach once more, and he lets go of Donghyuck's hand to scratch his arm nervously. "Right," he says, turning back to Donghyuck, "Um, I think that will do. We can go home now."

Donghyuck looks up at him for a moment, like he's gonna say something, but doesn't. He moves away from him and shrugs, "Okay."

Since the whole _lunch situation_ Mark had been avoiding Johnny like the plague, a hundred percent sure that he'd bother him non-stop until Mark told him all the details of his new romantic interest. Eventually, his friend found him and Mark had no choice but to tell him that _yes_ , him and Donghyuck were indeed dating. It was already hell having to listen to Johnny talk about his dates with Jaehyun, and now he wants them to go on _double dates_ , for Christ's sake. Hopefully Mark will get away with avoiding those, at least.

It's day four of fake dating, and now it almost feels normal sitting next to Donghyuck at the cafeteria and walking while holding hands in the corridors. He's stopped jumping every time Donghyuck touches his arm or shoulder without warning, and got used to the vanilla scented cologne that clings to Mark's clothes after being close to him.

Donghyuck has even agreed to Jaemin's request and started driving them to school.

"Morning, sunshine," Donghyuck greeted Mark the first day he picked them up as he kissed him on the cheek, a box with takeaway coffee in his hand, "And little brother of sunshine," he said to Jaemin, who was giving said coffee heart eyes.

"Are those for us?" he asked, snatching the tall americano from him, "You are the _best_ , mom doesn't let me drink coffee, like, ever."

"He's not gonna sleep for a week," Mark told Donghyuck as his brother run to the car.

Donghyuck shrugged with a little smile, "Sorry."

On the other hand, Mark hasn't talked with Taeyong since he and Donghyuck visited the store. Mark has been shamelessly avoiding him, going back inside the house whenever he glimpses the tiniest strand of pink hair emerge from the house across the street and purposefully forgetting his phone at home as to ignore his recurring text messages. It's bad, he knows that, and every time Mark thinks about it he feels miserable as hell. But the thought of confronting Taeyong makes him feel even worse.

Sadly, the universe isn't known for granting Mark Lee with what he wants, so he shouldn't even be surprised when the following events go down.

It's become a habit for Mark to sit at Donghyuck's populated table, as uncomfortable as it is, and by extension Johnny is included, too. And as much as Mark loves Johnny the guy has a special gift for bringing up just the very subjects that are the least convenient for him. That's why when he mentions his so adored boyfriend and how he's been dying to go on a double date, Mark wants to turn himself into a miserable puddle of sorrow, because he knows Donghyuck all too well and he's not even surprised when as if in slow motion this one scans through the whole cafeteria in search of his ex-boyfriend and yells, _D_ _ouble date!_ , definitely not looking straight at the tiny guy who's just eating some pudding a few tables away from them. Seriously, some days it feels like everyone in Mark's life just exist to make it even less enjoyable.

"We're not going on that date, now, are we?" he asks Donghyuck as they make their way to the parking lot after class, half-guessing his answer but a little bit hopeful nonetheless.

"Of course we are, Mark Lee. It's not official unless it's on Instagram, everybody knows that." Donghyuck puts a finger under his chin, "I wonder if that milkshake place is still open, _that_ will have people talking."

So they go on their stupid date with their stupid milkshakes, and they take a hundred pictures and everything is splendid. At least it looks splendid on their Instagram feed, which doesn't reflect at all the embarrassment Mark is silently enduring. The place couldn't be any cornier. It's one of those classic 50s style diners that are actually reminiscent of the 80s, pictures of Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley hanging from the walls, black and white tiles covering the floor. The minute they step inside Mark throws a glance at Donghyuck that doesn't need any translation into actual words to be understood.

"I know, I know," Donghuck says, raising his hands, "Maybe it's a bit too much but it's all for the show!"

"I wasn't aware the show was Riverdale meets Pretty in Pink."

"Ugh, you're so un-romantic! I don't even know why I'm dating you."

Mark scoffs as Donghyuck grabs him by the hand and drags him to a shiny booth with red sits. As he said, very corny. He sits across from Donghyuck since they are alone for now and sitting next to him would be, well, weird.

"So where's your gigantic friend?" Donghyuck asks as he looks at the menu with sparkling eyes.

Mark checks his phone and when he sees Johnny's text he swears he's gonna wrap him in foil next time he sees him and ship him straight to Timbuktu. He sighs, "His boyfriend forgot to pick up his sister from school or something, so they won't be here for another thirty minutes."

"Oh," Donghyuck says without leaving his eyes from the menu, "I think I'll have the strawberry milkshake, what about you?"

Mark raises an eyebrow at him.

"What?" Donghyuck says defensively, "We might as well order, we can't just stare at each other for thirty minutes, milkshake-less. How embarrassing would that be?"

"Fine." Mark sighs in resignation as he takes the menu from Hyuck and gives it a quick glance, "I'll have the oreo one, I guess."

"Bold choice, I like that in a man."

Mark looks away sheepishly, "Do you always have to makes jokes about that?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just my way of dealing with the awkwardness of fake dating someone I haven't really interacted with since the eighth grade."

"Hey, it was your idea."

"Yeah, and you agreed, so how about sharing some _hahas_ instead of looking all gloomy all the time?"

Mark doesn't respond, and he doesn't have to thanks to the waiter that luckily appears. At least the universe liked him a little bit.

"Are you sure you don't want an oreo milkshake like your cute friend?" the black-haired guy asks Donghyuck.

"Why, you don't have any more strawberries?"

"Oh, sure we do, I just strongly advise you against it."

The waiter smiles down at him, confident, and Donghyuck looks him dead in the eye. "I don't want an oreo milkshake," he says, slowly, "Oreo milkshakes are lame."

"Hey!" Mark says.

"Come on, man!" the guy insists, "They've got me working those blenders in the back and I can't stand the sheer look of those red little devils— like, I've got some _serious_ aversion towards them."

"Look, _man,_ " Donghyuck says, "I didn't drive all the way here just for some random guy to tell me I can't have my strawberry milkshake deliciousness, so you better start working those damn blenders if you don't want me talking with the High Hierarchy, if you know what I'm saying."

"Hey, chill," the waiter says with a small laugh, "I'm just kidding."

The guy collects the menus and leaves, not without throwing one last spiteful look at Donghyuck.

"He's gonna spit in your milkshake," Mark says.

"I'd like to see him try."

It's some other guy who brings their order, so apparently Hyuck's drink is safe.

"Why are you so jumpy about this stuff, anyway?" Donghyuck asks as he grabs the cherry on top of his milkshake.

"What stuff?"

"You know, dating stuff. Like, I get you not wanting to kiss and all but every time I so much as come near you your whole body stiffens like a damn rock. Come to think of it, maybe you just hate me and I'm making a big fool of myself by even asking this."

"I don't hate you." Mark shifts on his seat and plays with his straw, "I don't know, I've never, um, dated before, or anything. I'm not used to having some clingy person hanging from my arm 24/7."

"Yeah, that's totally what dating is like."

Mark rolls his eyes, "You know what I mean."

"Alright. But I don't get it, from all these people you've liked, you never made a move?"

"Why would I?"

"Why wouldn't you? You aren't disgusting at all."

Mark scoffs, "Is that your idea of a compliment?"

"You take it as you wanna take it, pumpkin." Donghyuck takes out his phone and starts taking pictures of their milkshakes, making sure the angle is right and everything. "Put your hand on the table. Yeah, just like that, a little bit to the left."

Mark sighs as he follows his indications, "You really are a pro, aren't you."

"I am, thank you for noticing." He finishes with the photoshoot and with expert hands works some filters into a picture before uploading it to his Instagram story, everything in less than thirty seconds. He then lifts his doe eyes at him, sharp and endless under his light-brown fringe, "Don't think I've forgotten about my question, Mark Lee."

"Let's just talk about something else."

Mark looks through the window at the passing people and cars. He'd never put much thought into his feelings towards dating, let alone the stuff that came along with it. Of course he daydreamed and fantasized and all of that, but actually going to the person of his interest and so much as talk to him — it just wasn't worth it. He was such a nervous wreck, it would be a tremendously bad idea to even think about it. His life was already embarrassing as it was.

Mark turns towards Donghyuck, who's softly singing the catchy pop song that is playing on the radio. It still amazed him how such a beautiful voice could come out of someone as snarky as him.

"You're doing it again!" Donghyuck says as he notices his stare, "Are you so shocked about the fact that I can sing?"

"No! I— I mean, your voice is really nice," he blurts out before drifting his attention back to his milkshake, his ears already red, "Don't you dare bring up that thing I wrote about your voice again."

"You brought it up, not me," Donghyuck says with a grin, "You aren't so bad of a musician yourself, Mark Lee. I've been checking your Instagram."

Mark throws a quick glance at him, "Thanks."

"You could consider following me back? Perhaps?" Donghyuckshakes his head and sighs, "You really suck at fake dating, no offense."

"Sorry, I don't really use Instagram. I just open it whenever I want to post a video or something."

"Why am I not surprised by that?" Donghyuck rests his face on his hand and plays with his straw with the other one, "I can already envision your geeky self, all day in your room, headphones on at all times, hastily pouring your edgy feelings on paper whenever you're not reading manga or something."

"Must you attack me like this?" Mark says, frowning, "I'm not geeky."

"I'm just kidding! I read a manga, once. Yuta lent it to me, but I didn't read it all the way through because I accidentally spoiled myself."

"How did _that_ happen?" Mark asks, unsurprised.

"Well, you know how you're not supposed to read the thing like we usually do, left to right and all."

Mark raises his eyebrows at him and chuckles, "You read it backwards?"

"It's not my fault! Nobody told me there was some special way to read the thing."

"It literally says so on the first page."

"Like I have the time to stop and read warnings! I was so confused for the first twenty pages. Well, last twenty pages, I guess."

"Couldn't you tell nothing made sense?"

"I don't know! I thought it was some weird existentialist shit or whatever. I've seen Evangelion, okay? I know they love throwing confusing stuff at you" Donghyuck shrugs as he takes another sip of his pink milkshake, "Anyway, you can imagine how traumatized I was after that— I never dared touch one again."

Mark laughs, "Well, I don't know about existentialism but I do have some mangas on my shelf. I mean, I don't really pay attention to the plot, I just like the drawings and all— Jaemin is a hardcore fan so he gives me some whenever mom threatens to donate the ones he hasn't read in a while. I could, like, lend you some if you want."

Wait, what is going on? He and Donghyuck, talking about manga while drinking milkshakes at the corniest place in the continent? Where's the punchline?

"Okay," Donghyuck says, and then he gasps dramatically, "Oh my God, so relationship goals."

Mark shakes his head, "We can't ever share a nice moment around here."

Donghyuck laughs, and for a split second Mark feels something twisting in his stomach. He looks away quickly. The hell was that? Had the funny waiter poisoned his oreo milkshake?

"I'm so, so, so sorry you guys!" someone says next to them. Mark raises his head to find Johnny, no boyfriend in sight, "Jaehyun had to take his sister to the doctor cause she had this weird rash all over her arms— he's not coming."

Mark groans, "Are you kidding me? You've been bugging me about your damn double date for the past two weeks now."

"It's not my fault the universe hates me!" he states, making Mark laugh internally at the irony of his choice of words.

Johnny is still standing in the middle of the aisle, literally blocking everyone, when the funny waiter appears out of nowhere and looks up at him with his arms crossed. "You look like a strawberry guy too," he says, defiant even though the other one almost doubles him in height.

Johnny throws a confused look at the guy, who's frowning at him. Mark looks over to Donghyuck and sees that he's glaring at the waiter too, all tensed up like he's ready to jump at his throat or something.

" _Okaaaay_ ," Mark says, "Let's just go somewhere else."

They end up grabbing some coffee before parting ways not even an hour after that. As the whole double-date ordeal was a total fluke it didn't really make sense extending it for another sixty minutes, and Mark was glad cause in a desperate search for conversation topics Johnny had started asking about how they'd met, whether they were official or not (yikes) and more. Luckily Hyuck seemed to excel in the art of lying, so Mark just sat back and nervously drank his coffee while his fake date resolved the situation for him. That didn't take away the fact that he was expected to show at least some ounce of affection towards the guy, so he'd had to reciprocate the recurring hand-grabbing and head-on-shoulder resting.

When he finally gets home Mark is so exhausted he doesn't even eat dinner and goes straight to bed, his head spinning from all the milkshakes and fake dating. In the end it felt as if he'd gone on two whole dates, one with the regular-snarky-Hyuck and the other one with the sweetness-overload-Hyuck. Maybe he _had_ gone on a double date, after all.

He rolls over on his bed and grabs his phone. He'd deleted Instagram a few months ago, since he didn't really use it anyway, so he downloads it again and waits as the white light of the screen bathes his sleepy face.

He has about twenty notifications, most of them from Donghyuck. The most recent is from a story on which he's tagged him— the infamous pair of milkshakes with just a glimpse of Mark's orchestrated hand positioned next to his glass. The other ones are a product of Hyuck going on a liking-spree and liking every single picture on his profile, which aren't many, and some comments he left on a few of them.

The last video Mark posted, just a week before Mina left for college, is a cover of one of Mina's favorite songs. He'd spent a whole afternoon trying to figure out a way to cover it on guitar, adding his own thing instead of looking up the chords, and Mina (even though she didn't sing very frequently) had put such passion into her voice that it ended up being the most liked video on Mark's profile, with a modest fifty likes. Hyuck commented a ridiculous amount of hearts and heart-eyed emojis on that video, and Mark was surprised to find (well, not at all actually) that Johnny had liked his comment. Mark lets out a half-laugh and likes the comment as well, then taps on his username to finally give him his followback.

It's not all that surprising that Hyuck has more followers than him, and for every post Mark has on his profile Hyuck has at least ten. They are mostly pictures of food and random selfies, with the occasional video of him singing on which Mark leaves some likes too because, well, he _had_ been a pretty lousy fake date. Also because he may or may not have watched them all the way through and enjoyed Donghyuck's voice way better than the original artists. Maybe.

As he keeps on scrolling, totally out of boredom and not because he's genuinely curious, he comes across a picture of Hyuck and Renjun. His stomach twists at the sight of the two, similarly as it had twisted a few hours ago at the milkshake place. Surely it was the oreo milkshake giving him a hard time, right?

He opens the picture, being extremely careful not to accidentally give it a like. Hyuck and Renjun are sitting on a couch, presumably at a party given the half-emptied cups that are left forgotten on the little table in front of them. Donghyuck has an arm around Renjun's tiny body and he's pushing him closer as he gives him a kiss on the cheek, Renjun with a hand on his face in a shy attempt to hide the wide smile that is nonetheless visible through his fingers, his cheeks red due to the embarrassment (and probably to the alcohol consumed earlier). Mark had never seen Renjun so happy, not even when they were friends, and he suddenly feels terribly guilty for what they are doing to him. Just imagine seeing your ex bombarding you with all these Instagram stories with the new guy he's dating, without counting the number of times he had to see them holding hands and having lunch together at school.

Mark blocks his phone and turns towards the ceiling of his dark bedroom. At least Hyuck just posted stories of the two of them, not actual posts. Temporary stories with an expiration date, no strings attached, gone after a short twenty-four hours as if they'd never existed. Something about that thought makes him feel even worse, but he's too tired to dwell on it right now.

Mark was twelve when Renjun told him he had a crush on Hyuck. It was before Taeyong moved next door, even before Mark realized he liked guys as well as girls.

"Donghyuck?", Mark said with evident disgust on his face, "Why?"

They were in Mark's room, Renjun thrown over his bed as Mark fooled around on his computer.

"What do you mean why? He's cute."

"Are we talking about the same Donghyuck? The annoying guy who makes fun of us every single day?"

"You say that because you're too slow witted to bite back."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, sorry", Renjun said as he sat with his legs crossed, "I meant innocent."

"I'm not innocent, I just don't like conflict."

"If you say so."

Mark rolled his eyes.

"Anyway", Renjun continued, "I figured you could leave us alone tonight at some point, you know, tell Johnny you have to show him your new fidget spinner or however that hideous thing is called."

The guys were staying at his house that night. Ever since his cat passed away Mark had been in a dark mood, and as weeks passed and he was still feeling down his mom had planned the little gathering along with Renjun, who even offered to bring his Play Station in hopes of lifting his friend's mood.

"Alright, if that's what you want", Mark said, not really understanding how someone could see anything beyond Donghyuck's annoyance.

A few hours later the four of them were all set up in Mark's living room, the TV flashing colors and sounds as they played Mortal Kombat. They were having a kind of tournament, and even though Mark was quite good he couldn't compete with guys like Renjun and Johnny, who were now slamming their joysticks so hard Mark feared they might break them. By his side Donghyuck was too busy being his loud self, making remarks every time someone struck a fatal move or hit some combos, so Mark went over to the kitchen to make some popcorn for the movie they were going to watch afterwards.

He was waiting in front of the microwave when he started feeling sad again. His cat used to stare at the little popcorn bag every time they made some, her little ears slightly moving whenever another corn popped, eyes wide open with anticipation. Mark didn't even realize he had started to cry, when he heard some quick footsteps coming through the door.

"What is taking you so damn long, grannie?", Donghyuck mocked as he stepped in the kitchen.

Mark looked away quickly as he wiped his tears, hoping that he hadn't seen him. But he had, and now was giving him a curious look.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine", Mark said, eyes fixed on the little bag that was still rotating.

"I wasn't serious when I said you played like an old lady", Hyuck said, "I mean, not even me could compete with those psychos."

"It's not about that."

"Oh", Hyuck tilted his head, "Then what?"

Mark glanced at him, not sure if he should tell him. But he had already seen him crying so he had to say something.

"My cat passed away last month", he said at last, "And I know it's stupid that I'm still sad about it but I was staring at the damn microwave and I remembered how she used to look at it too whenever we made popcorn and— I don't know, it's so stupid."

"It's not stupid", Hyuck said, taking a step closer, "She was like family, of course you're sad. When my dog passed I kept crying every time I saw a dog even remotely similar as him, and that was for a long, long time."

"How long?"

"Um, long", Hyuck scratched his arm awkwardly, "But it will get better, I promise."

He'd sort of expected Hyuck to mock him for crying or something like that, even if that would've been way insensitive, but when Mark looked at him he saw genuine concern in his eyes.

"I just hate feeling like this", Mark said, "I'll never be able to make popcorn again."

They stayed in silence, watching the little bag make its slow rotation as the corn popped. Mark felt some tears sting in his eyes again and he lowered his head.

"Do you, um, want a hug?", Hyuck said glancing at him.

Mark rubbed his eyes, still looking down, "Okay."

Hyuck approached shyly and put his arms around him, embracing him in a warm hug. Mark raised his arms hesitantly and hugged him back, resting his head on his shoulder. It was kind of awkward, but for some reason it made him feel a bit better.

"Who needs popcorn anyway", Hyuck said, "Way overrated."

Mark laughed, "I don't think that's true, but thanks."

The microwave beeped loudly, making them jump. Mark stepped away from Hyuck, sort of embarrassed, and took out the popcorn. As he was pouring it into a bowl he heard the kitchen door creak, and turned around to find Renjun silently watching them.

"Um, I won", he said, eyes darting from Mark to Hyuck.

"Of course you did, you maniac", Hyuck said, "You always do, we should banish you from Mortal Kombat tournaments for eternity."

Renjun smiled and threw an inquisitive glance at Mark, who felt his ears go red as he awkwardly lifted the bowl, "Popcorn's ready."

That was the first time he'd started to feel some way about a guy, some way different than the usual way. The weeks after that he realized how much attention he'd started paying to Hyuck, got distracted in class because his eyes kept looking for him, somehow his jokes seemed funnier, he didn't get as offended when he made fun of him (which was a lot since Hyuck made fun of everyone all the time). But he knew that had to stop— Renjun was already so head over heels for the guy. That's why he'd written everything he liked about Hyuck, everything he would never ever tell him, and stuffed it in his little can.

That was the reason, Mark thinks as he waits on his porch for Hyuck to pick him up for school. He hadn't thought about that day for years— it felt like it'd been so long ago.

Same time as always Hyuck's car slowly parks, and Jaemin runs to it followed by Mark.

"Here's your royal Highness, who granted me with his followback!", Hyuck says as soon as Mark gets in, putting a hand to his chest, "I am unworthy."

Mark half-smiles, "Good morning to you too."

Something about the memory of them when they were younger had left him with an odd feeling, because apparently it wasn't enough with the guilt he'd felt last night about Renjun.

Mark shakes his head, as if that's going to shake off all those uncomfortable emotions, and puts on his seatbelt. Behind him Jaemin sprawls all over the back seats and takes out his phone, ready to play some games even though the drive is less than ten minutes long.

"I'm not starting the car until you put on your seatbelt", Hyuck looks at him through the mirror with his arms crossed, "Unless you want to make me responsible for your terrible death."

"Come on, Hyuckie", Jaemin says playfully, eyes fixed on his phone, "I trust your driving abilities, unlike the ones of your lousy co-pilot." Mark reaches out and smacks him on the head, making his brother drift the attention from his phone and glare at him, "Owie!"

"Alright", says Hyuck as he puts his hands on the steering wheel, "I hope you think of me when your little body is being propelled through the window."

Jaemin pouts at him and puts on his seatbelt, and Hyuck grins. They put on that show every single day, and Mark found it quite funny how easily Jaemin surrendered to him.

"You never pay _me_ any attention when I care about your safety", Mark tells him.

"That's cause you never have to. Putting on my seatbelt is the first thing I do when you're driving", Jaemin states as he violently taps on his phone, "Maybe I should get a helmet."

Hyuck laughs at that, and Mark smacks him too, "Ahh!", he flinches as he lets out a little scream, "Someone's in a mood for hitting their loved ones today!"

"Only because my _loved ones_ are in a mood for bullying me."

As Hyuck starts driving Mark grabs his backpack and takes out a little bag from it.

"Here are some, uh, mangas you can read", he says shyly, "I hope you like cyberpunk."

Hyuck takes a glance at the bag and smiles.

"Oww, you're sweet", he says, making Mark's ears go red.

"Whatever, I'll leave them on the backseat."

He flings the bag towards the seat next to Jaemin, whose eyes instantly dart towards it as he pauses his game. He grabs the bag and frantically starts taking out the mangas Mark had carefully selected and placed in order, "Ugh, I can't believe you are lending him _Macross 7 Trash_ , it's so boring."

"It's not boring, the art is amazing!", Mark says defensively, "And what did you expect, these are your leftovers."

"I'll bring you the good stuff, Hyuck", Jaemin tells him as he messily stuffs them back in the bag, "This loser doesn't know anything."

Mark rolls his eyes, and he doesn't smack Donghyuck when he laughs because let's be honest, they're gonna keep bullying him anyway.

Later that day he's all alone by his locker, minding his own business, when Renjun comes up to him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?", he asks calmly as he closes Mark's locker shut. He's shorter than Mark and, well, _tiny_ , but he could be scary. He just had that rare gift.

"Um, what?"

"I know you hate me or whatever, but stealing my boyfriend like that is just low."

"You're the one who hates me. And I'm not _stealing_ anything, he's not an object."

Renjun rolls his eyes, "Stop acting all innocent! I know you've been wanting to do this since eighth grade."

Mark can't help but laugh, raising his eyebrows at the ridiculousness of that statement, "What?"

"God, you're so dense. You really don't know anything."

"What is there to know?"

Renjun glares at him, but doesn't answer his question, "I don't know why I'm even worrying, he always comes back to me. I give your lovely couple a week before he realizes what a huge fuckup you are."

It's just another lame insult Renjun throws at him, not any different from the other thousands he has delivered in the last few years. But for some reason it resonates in Mark's head, and the little sympathy he'd felt for him last night evaporates in a second.

"What's going on here?", says Johnny as he appears out of nowhere and puts an arm around Mark's shoulders, "Oh, hey Renjun, didn't see you there. Am I getting taller or are you getting shorter?"

Renjun glares at Johnny and retreats without saying a word.

Johnny laughs as he messes Mark's hair, "What did he tell you?"

"Nothing, same Renjun shit as always."

"Are you two ever gonna stop with that endless bickering?"

"Yeah, when we graduate and I don't have to see his stupid face again."

Soon it's Friday night again, and just like a few weeks before that Mark and Jaemin are marathoning Naruto while eating popcorn. Suddenly Mark's phone buzzes, and he feels something flutter in his chest as he sees he has a message from Donghyuck.

_Hey baby, wanna go out for dinner tomorrow?_

Mark stares blankly at the screen, not sure if it's a joke or not.

_Donghyuck is writing..._

_We should take some pics for our instagrams. Before the party._

He straightens on the couch and texts back.

**Got confused for a second. Sure thing.**

_Donghyuck is writing..._

_"Sure thing". You're such a vibe killer, Mark Lee._

Mark laughs.

**Whatever, "baby". Pick me up at seven I guess.**

_*kissing emoji*_

"Cute", says Jaemin over his shoulder. Mark blocks his phone as fast as lightning and punches his brother. "Ouch!", he complains while rubbing his arm.

"That's what you get for being a nosy bitch."

"Oh my god, you're so whipped for him!", Jaemin teases him, "Mark is in _looove_!"

"Am _not_."

"You _are_!"

Once again the inevitable popcorn war takes place, and just like last time their mom makes them pick up the mess afterwards.

Mark hasn't gone to a party in ages. Probably the last time he went to one was when he was fifteen, and that was only because Johnny had begged him to go. It wasn't really his thing, especially since he didn't know a lot of people at school. _Specifically_ because he didn't know a lot of people at school. So maybe it's for the best that Donghyuck and him are going for dinner before that, it'll ease him up. Have some wine. Maybe some Xanax.

Unsure about the dress code for the night he goes for a plain black sweater and some black converse, matching with his black hair and the black coffee he had earlier and that is currently making his nerves jump out of his skin.

"Fucking chill", he threatens his reflection in the mirror, who throws a scared look at him. He swears to God he's losing his mind.

The doorbell rings at seven sharp, making his heart go up his throat and back down. This time it's his mom who answers since Jaemin hasn't stopped talking about the _cute guy_ that Mark's dating and how he'd basically been their cupid and all.

Donghyuck looks more handsome than usual, his dark skin almost glowing with the last rays of sun. He's wearing a white t-shirt and a leather jacket, just like the day they met at the record store, and his eyes peek shyly from under his fringe as Mark's mom opens the door super excited.

"Hi, Mrs. Lee. It's been a while", he says with his soft voice, and that's enough for Mark's mom to start adoring him.

"Come in!", she says excitedly, "Would you like some tea before you go? Some cookies?", she bombards at Hyuck, who just smiles as his eyes look for Mark.

"Okaaaay, mom, that's enough", Mark says stepping in and slipping out of the house, "Bye!"

"Hey, Hyuck!", Jaemin says suddenly, materializing behind his mom.

"Don't be home late", his mom says, "I'll know if you're home late!"

"Yeah, we'll know", chimes in Jaemin, winking at Mark.

"Byeeee!!!", Mark grabs Hyuck's arm and drags him to the car.

"What did we say about you dragging me around like that?", Hyuck complains, but doesn't pull back.

When Mark looks back he sees Jaemin and his mom peeking through the windows, and they only disappear when they get inside the car.

"Sorry about that", he says to Hyuck, "They're weird."

"So _that's_ where you get it from."

Mark glares at him as he fastens his seatbelt. He's done something with his hair, Mark notices; it looks more wavy than usual and slightly lighter. It kind of suits him, and for a moment Mark wonders if it's as soft as it looks. He brushes that thought away.

"Where are you taking me?"

"I had this debate, cause we _could_ do take away Mc Donald's or pizza. But something like, say, sushi— _that_ will have people talking."

"Sushi!", Mark's eyes sparkle with excitement, "I mean I love sushi but I didn't bring enough money for that."

"That's okay, I'll take care of it."

Mark laughs, "What?"

"Well, _I_ want sushi now, and I'm not eating it all by myself."

So they have sushi, and they take plenty of pictures to spam on their instagrams so that everyone knows how _relationship goals_ they are (Donghyuck's words).

The place is gorgeous. It's not that fancy at all but the way it's decorated with dim lights and red walls makes it all feel intimate and cozy, and the waitress even gives them free drink appetizers even though they are clearly underage (she winks at them when she gives it to them and Mark could swear she said _they are so cute!_ to the other waiter). He's glad, though— he's not that used to drinking but maybe a little bit of the good old booze would ease his nerves. God, even he cringes when he thinks of the word _booze_.

The sushi's amazing too, and Mark almost cries tears of joy as he eats.

"I can't even remember the last time I had sushi", he says as he stuffs a philadelphia roll in his mouth.

"Yeah, you better not get wasted tonight and throw up this luxurious dinner I'm treating you with."

Mark coughs as he stifles a laugh, "Let's not talk about throwing up _while_ we're eating it, then?"

Hyuck grins. He really looks amazingly good tonight, especially under the warm lights of the place and with that white shirt that reveals just enough of his collarbone. Not that he doesn't look amazingly good all the time, I mean just look at those eyes. Wait, what?

"Hey, what about the other poems?", Hyuck says, bringing him back to reality, "You never told me what happened with those."

Mark grimaces at the thought. He'd been lucky enough that one of the few girls he had liked, a cute girl called Lara Jean, moved away when they were fourteen, so at least she was out of the map.

But a few days ago he'd had a lovely surprise when he went to de supermarket to find that the girl at the register was in fact his other elementary school sort-of-crush. That'd been so long ago, Mark couldn't even remember what he liked about her, and of course she'd gotten the dreadful delivery from Jaemin. He was peacefully buying some bread when she came up to him and confronted him about it, kind of amused by it all given that the thing had in fact been written by a nine-year-old, so you have an idea of the quality of the work in question. Now Mark would have no other choice than to start going to the supermarket all the way across town or just hope that the girl would get another job, cause the mere thought of going through that traumatic experience again made him want to puke.

"Let's just say Jaemin at least had the decency not to contact my now twenty-eight-year-old ex-guitar teacher", he says shortly.

"A teacher! Wow, you really _are_ a player."

"Ugh, don't even."

Hyuck plays with his food for a while, lost in thought as he rests his head on his hand.

"Can I ask you something?", he finally says, "Why didn't you tell me you liked me?"

Mark wasn't expecting that question at all, and he almost chokes on his water.

"Um", he says clearing his throat, "Why would I tell you?"

"I mean we weren't exactly best friends, it's not like it'd have ruined anything."

Mark plays with his food, not wanting to meet the dark eyes that are studying him from across the table. He's still to get used to the intense eye contact Hyuck appeared to dominate every time they had a conversation and that made him so incredibly anxious.

"Actually, I didn't say anything because Renjun also had a crush on you."

"Oh", Hyuck raises his eyebrows, "Wasn't expecting that one."

"I mean it's not like I would've told you anyway", Mark adds, regretting it a second later because he knows it will lead to a lot of other questions.

And indeed, Hyuck asks, "Why not?"

Mark scratches his neck, "It's like", he doubts, trying to avoid saying anything Hyuck could use to make fun of him, "Like— I don't know, it's stupid I guess."

"What's stupid?"

"You know, like— telling someone you have, like, a crush on them. It's so stupid."

Hyuck raises his eyebrows and chuckles, making Mark go even more red than he already was. Of course he was going to laugh at him, it's Donghyuck.

"But how are people supposed to know you like them if you keep all those little poems to yourself?"

"They're not _poems_. They are, I don't know, just words, okay? And I've already told you I don't do it anymore."

"Yeah, because you haven't liked anyone since pink guy."

Mark meets his eyes now, but doesn't say anything.

"Look", Hyuck says finally, "I'm not saying you writing those _words_ is wrong. It's actually sort of cute, even if it's a bit corny."

Mark rolls his eyes.

" _But_ ", he continues, "maybe you should tell people how you feel instead of bottling it all up."

"Then why don't you tell Renjun you want to get back with him?"

"No, that's different", Hyuck says as he continues eating, "This is our dynamic, you see. He does stuff to make me angry, I do it back at him, then we're back together. It's always been like that."

Mark hadn't told him about his little encounter with Renjun. He doesn't know why, but he feels that it would make things weird, somehow. Or maybe he just doesn't want to tell him, even if that doesn't make any sense. But he _should_ — their whole deal was in part to make Renjun jealous, right?

"How come you two were together?", he surprises himself saying instead.

"What do you mean?"

"He's just so... I don't know, an asshole?"

"Ha!", Hyuck shakes his head and laughs, "Ahh, Mark Lee, you're funny."

"What the hell is so funny about that?"

"You guys are so busy bickering about nonsense, I bet you don't even know why you hate each other so much."

Mark scoffs, "He's the one who hates me."

"Well, I don't see you trying to make peace with him either."

"Why should I?"

"He's not half as bad as you believe him to be. You were _friends_ once, remember?"

Of course Mark remembered, but the fact that they were once friends didn't change what had happened between them. It didn't stop Renjun from suddenly stop talking to him, no explanation whatsoever, as if that didn't hurt at all.

"Whatever", he says, a bit annoyed at Donghyuck for some reason, "Let's just go to this stupid party so you can make him jealous."

The party is at Yuta's house and it's crammed with people, most of whom Mark doesn't know. At first he wonders how a regular seventeen-year-old guy can know so many people, but honestly Yuta has such a characteristic charm to him that it actually makes sense.

It's one of those modern, all-glass houses, with the big garden and the pool and all that jazz. Through the glass doors Mark gets to see fairy lights hanging from some trees, giving the garden a soft and relaxed look (unlike the night club slash satanic cult vibes the house is giving with the red lights Yuta has placed inside). Either his parents aren't home or they're the coolest parents ever.

Rap music is blasting from the speakers as Mark and his fake date make their way towards the kitchen, where Hyuck's friends are.

"I wanted _lemon_ vodka, not watermelon!", Jungwoo is complaining to Taeil.

"Well, you either work on your _penmanship_ or make the list on your phone next time!", he answers putting the bottle to his chest, which Jungwoo holds protectively as he pouts.

As Hyuck greets his friends Yuta starts making some drinks for him and Mark, who's desperately looking for Johnny amongst the multitude of people. He'd sort of calmed down during dinner, but now that they were in the actual party his stomach started to anxiously turn.

"For the cute couple", Yuta says handing him a paper cup filled with red liquid. Mark sniffs it and smells something sweet.

"What is it?"

"Yuta's secret love potion", he puts a finger on his lips and winks before going back with Sicheng.

"It's just punch", Hyuck says as he drinks his, "Yuta's a big drama queen."

Mark takes a sip. It's sweet, and it doesn't seem to have that much alcohol. Knowing Hyuck's friends, though, (and telling by the endless number of bottles that keep appearing from Taeil's backpack) Mark figures it's probably there.

They spend about half an hour with Hyuck's gang fooling around by the pool, Mark's senses tingling every time someone walks too close to him in fear that they might throw him in the water. He's seen plenty of teenage movies, and it's almost obvious that someone will end up in there by the end of the night.

The guys are nice enough, even though they're too busy teasing each other and talking about people Mark doesn't even know to pay him any attention. At last he catches a glimpse of Johnny through the glass doors, so he goes to him leaving Hyuck with his friends.

"Oh my god!", Johnny yells when he sees him. He's wearing a shirt with a weird pattern and has his arm around a handsome looking guy, "Am I dreaming? Is that Mark Lee right there?"

"Shut up", he replies with a shy laugh.

"Mark Lee at a party, my eyes have been blessed."

"Alright—"

"World peace is possible now."

"Okay—"

"I think I believe in fairies again!"

"Alright, that's enough."

Johnny finally introduces him to his boyfriend Jaehyun, who'd been silently watching them with a little smile on his face. He seems to be a cool guy, laid back but also funny, and he won't stop throwing quick glances at Johnny that make his eyes twinkle.

"I was starting to believe Johnny made you up or something", Mark says to the guy, "My ears have been ringing with your name for the last few weeks, that's how much he's been talking about you."

"I so have not!", Johnny blushes as Jaehyun beams at him, "He's just jealous because Donghyuck hasn't taken him to a coffee workshop yet."

"Ugh, don't even mention it", says Jaehyun as he covers his face, "I don't have the delicacy for those sorts of things."

Johnny offers Mark a beer, and even though he's heard that it it's a sin mixing drinks he accepts. He's not planning on going crazy with the drinks anyway, so what's the harm in a little beer?

His phone buzzes informing him that Hyuck has tagged him on an instagram story, a little green heart next to his name. The picture shows Mark casually looking to the side, his right hand delicately holding his chopsticks. It's none of the pictures Mark had posed for, and he wonders when he took it. He actually looks good in it, and something about Hyuck waiting for the right moment to take it sends a strange feeling to his chest.

"Where's your boyfriend, Lee? Did he break up with you already?"

Mark looks up and sees that Johnny and Jaehyun have vanished. Instead he finds Renjun, red lights engulfing him and making him look like the little demon that he is.

The way he delivers the question annoys the hell out of Mark, for some reason.

"Actually, he just took me out for dinner", he says, surprising himself, "You should check his instagram."

Renjun gives him a look filled with hatred as Mark makes his way back to the garden. He doesn't know what made him say that, but it felt good. For some reason he hates the fact that Renjun expects Hyuck to run back to him, just like that.

When he finds Hyuck he's laughing his lungs out with the other guys. He's taken off his jacket and Mark (once more) marvels at how good he looks in white t-shirts, his skin glowing under the fairy lights. Just as Mark predicted, Yuta has pushed Doyoung in the pool and now this one's tricking people into helping him out just to throw them in as well.

"I thought that only happened in movies", Mark says to Hyuck.

He turns to him and smiles, "Life imitates art, baby."

Mark smiles back at him and looks over his shoulder to see that Renjun is still looking at him from inside the house. Mimicking what Hyuck did that day at the cafeteria, Mark grabs his hand and slowly bends over to whisper in his ear, _I think Renjun is very jealous_.

Instead of looking for Renjun Hyuck's glittery eyes linger on Mark's, surprised by the sudden approach. Usually Hyuck was the one who approached Mark and gave physical affection for the show, not the other way around, and he seems to be at a loss of words for a moment. For the first time Mark doesn't feel so small next to him, not even when being this close which would normally freak him out. That new found confidence scares him like hell, but it also intrigues him.

What _was_ in that punch Yuta had given him?

"Hah", Hyuck says after a few seconds, acting like himself again, "Yeah, he should be."

They stay there laughing as they watch all their friends fall victims to Yuta, who keeps mercilessly throwing people in the pool until Sicheng pops up behind him like a ninja and throws him in as well.

Hyuck gives Mark a short introduction to his friends as he points from their safe spot away from the pool, starting with the aspects that annoy him and ending with a dramatic sigh and a _but i love him anyway_. Mark's been slowly emptying his beer, and before he knows it there's a new cup in his hand.

Maybe he was wrong about parties, maybe he did like them after all. Or maybe he's just having a good time because of Hyuck, his jokes making him laugh way more than he probably should due of the alcohol in his system, or maybe because of something else.

At some point Hyuck takes out his phone and stares at it for a while, turning away from Mark.

"I'll be right back", he tells him a few minutes later. He points towards his friends, who are no longer in the pool but still soaked from head to toe, "Don't trust them, they are _evil_."

Mark laughs and watches as Hyuck merges into the red living room.

He's not alone for too long, though.

"What's up, little Mark", Yuta puts an arm around his shoulders and pinches his cheek, "You up for some beer-pong?"

That's how Mark ends up being adopted by Hyuck's friends, who drag him all around the house as they collect every empty paper cup they can find in hopes to play the infamous beer-pong. Johnny and Jaehyun tag along at some point, and soon enough the table is all set up and they divide into two teams.

It turns out Mark is quite good at beer-pong, but so are his opponents, so it's not long before Mark has to empty his first cup. He waters down the whole thing thinking it's beer and almost loses a lung when he feels something burn down his throat.

"What the hell is this?", he coughs.

"It's our _special_ beer pong", Sicheng smiles mischievously from the other side of the table.

"Don't worry", his team mate Doyoung tells him as Mark composes himself, "There's beer in most of them, you just were unlucky."

Turns out Mark _is_ unlucky indeed, since he ends up gulping down three more cups with the devilish drink not long after that. He ignores Johnny when he tells him he and Jaehyun are going home and that he should stop drinking cause he just feels so _good_ , like he doesn't have to worry about all the stupid crap about Taeyong and Donghyuck and Renjun.

The thought reminds him that he hasn't seen his fake date in a while, so he decides to text him.

**where r u baby? youre missing all the fun**

He keeps on playing then, and it's not long before Hyuck shows up.

"Hyuckieee", Mark says drowsily as he clings to his neck, "I missed you."

Hyuck widens his eyes and laughs, "Hyuckie?"

"Mhm, that's what I'm calling you from now on", Mark hides his face in his neck and rubs it against it, the world swirling as he does so.

"Oh my God, what did you idiots do to him?", Hyuck shoots at his friends as he holds an unstable Mark.

"Come on, we're just having fun!", Yuta says as he himself clings from Sicheng, who pushes him angrily only to hug him again later.

"He's not used to drinking."

"Oh, we didn't know that", Jungwoo says apologetic, but with a little laugh.

"It's okay, I'm fine!", Mark tells Hyuck as he tries to stand up straight, "You should join us, I'll just, I'll just take a little nap, a lil sumthing". He lets go of Hyuck and zigzags towards an already crowded sofa, the red lights making it all seem like a weird and surrealistic dream.

Hyuck sighs, "No, you're not." He puts Mark's arm around his shoulders and turns to his friends, "Very nice, guys, _very nice_."

The guys keep throwing dramatic apologies at them as Hyuck guides Mark to the front door.

"Wait, where are we going?", Mark says confused.

"Enough fun for tonight, mister."

Mark's house is about ten blocks from Yuta's, so Hyuck decides to call an uber since he's had his fair share of drinks (although not as much as Mark) and couldn't possibly drive.

"How'd you know I don't drink?", Mark asks as they wait on the sidewalk, his arms lazily thrown around Hyuck.

This one laughs, "You think you're so invisible, Mark Lee."

The ride is short, less than five minutes probably, but for Mark it feels a lot longer as he rests his head against Hyuck's shoulder and feels the warmth of his body next to him, the sweet cologne he always wears embracing him like a familiar hug. He wishes they could stay like this all night, in the comfortable darkness of the car, but soon they arrive and they're out on the breezy streets again.

Hyuck takes the keys from Mark's drunken hands and opens the door silently. Luckily his mom's already gone to sleep, and the darkness of the living room greets them as he guides Mark towards the couch.

"I'll get you some water", he whispers close to him. The white light from the outside lamp posts contours his face, making him look like a magical and nocturnal being.

"Noo, I'm fine", Mark complains childishly as he grabs his hand, "Come sit with me."

Hyuck lets out a little laugh, but goes to get him some water. Soon he's back with a glass and he gives some to Mark before guiding him up the stairs and into his room.

Mark's guitar is on the bed, surrounded by a sea of papers, so Hyuck turns on the little light on the night stand and carefully collects the sheets. He puts them on the desk, next to the guitar, as Mark collapses on the bed.

"Not so fast", Hyuck says as he goes to him, "Finish your water first."

Mark complains into the pillow, but sits down on the bed and takes the glass. Hyuck sits next to him, his eyes studying a sheet of paper that he missed.

"You've been writing your poems again!", he teases.

"I _told_ you, they're not poems."

Hyuck looks at him, then at his guitar, "Ohhhh, they're lyrics!" He studies the sheet again with new interest, and suddenly Mark feels embarrassed.

"Noo, don't read them!", he says trying to cover it with his hand, "They're lame, I can't even sing them."

"They're not lame", he punches him playfully as he keeps reading, " _I_ could sing them."

Hyuck starts singing the lyrics with a random melody that ends up being a mess, and laughs. Mark watches him as he does so, taking in every detail of his face: the way his lips move as his soft voice flows through them, the way his hair gracefully falls on his golden forehead. His eyes wander from his beautiful doe eyes to his jawline and down his neck, looking dangerously appealing under the warm lighting of the room.

"I still think your voice is sweet as honey", he hears himself say as his head tilts sleepily to the side.

Hyuck stops singing and looks at him, surprised, before letting out a little laugh.

"Oh, do you?"

"Yeah, I really do", Mark says, his eyes longingly resting on Hyuck's, "Your voice is so soft, but you're so mean", he adds with a little smile.

Hyuck smiles shyly and looks away, "Okay, Mark Lee, finish your water now."

Mark does as he says, not wanting to leave his gaze from Hyuck, who's uncharacteristically quiet. When he finishes Hyuck takes the glass from him and leaves it on the night stand, turning off the little light as he does so.

"Well, I better be off."

"Wait", Mark says quietly, taking his hand.

Hyuck slowly meets his gaze, the faint light of the streets bathing everything with its dreamy glow. Mark's eyes go down to Hyuck's lips as a burning desire starts growing inside him, awakened after a long, long sleep. He feels an insisting electricity that flows from his body and through the darkness that separates him from Hyuck, begging him to close the distance between them, desperate to feel that long wanted warmth against his skin. It's too strong, too demanding, and Mark can't help himself as he starts to move closer to him. Hyuck realizes what he's doing, and he puts his hands against Mark's shoulders.

"Okay", he says softly as he stands up, "I think you should sleep now."

"Noo, don't go", Mark's chest shrinks in pain as he grabs his hand again, eyes desperately looking for Hyuck's, "Let's just pretend for a while, even if no one's watching."

Hyuck looks at him for a moment, face almost hidden by the darkness of the room. He lets out a little laugh, "Come on, Mark Lee. I'll help you out."

Mark pouts as Hyuck helps him get in the bed, and as soon as he feels the warmth of the covers around him his whole body melts.

"I love it when you say my name", Mark says quietly before closing his eyes.

Hyuck stays next to him for a while, and his presence gives Mark a warm feeling that soothes him until he falls asleep.

The next morning Mark wants to die.

Not ten seconds pass since he awakens and he already feels all the weight of the world pressing against his temples, the brightness of the sunny-Sunday piercing through his eyelids like bullets. He rolls to his side and groans into his pillow, hiding his face with the covers.

And then, piece by little piece, the memories of last night slowly start falling into place like a rainfall of shame and misery. Mark opens his eyes and a hole starts opening inside his stomach as he contemplates the now empty space Hyuck occupied last night, painfully recalling the foolish words that had escaped his mouth.

"Oh, fuck", Mark says as he covers his face in shame, sinking deeper into his bed as well as in his self-loathing.

He doesn't dare open his eyes again for another thirty minutes, when his headache is so strong even the shyest chirping bird awakens homicidal tendencies inside him. So he finally accepts he's going to have a very, very shitty day, and carefully sits on his bed.

As he starts untangling himself from the covers he sees something unfamiliar on his night stand, although after blinking a few times he discovers it's just a regular bottle of water. It wouldn't be a big deal, if it weren't for the little note pad that's stuck to it.

_You better drink all of it or I'll kick your ass on Monday -H._

Mark's heart jumps all over his chest like a little bird, followed by a rabid wildfire that smothers said bird to ashes and leaves him feeling all miserable again.

Did he really say those things to him? Was he really that stupid?

_Let's just pretend for a while, even if no one's watching._

The phrase burdens him all day like a mean bee that won't sting him but would rather torture him with its endless buzzing, right in the back of his mind while he's taking a shower, when he goes to the kitchen desperate for food, when Jaemin teases him about hearing Hyuck and him going up the stairs last night.

It doesn't get better when his mom goes to his room to inform him that Taeyong has come to visit and that he's waiting for him downstairs. Mark contemplates throwing himself off the window, or making his mom tell him he's got chicken pox or something. But that'd only keep pushing the matter even further, and Mark's already so exhausted about this whole deal. So he gathers the little dignity he has left, which isn't much, and goes down to the living room.

Taeyong's hair is blue now, and even though he's known the guy for years Mark still marvels at how well he pulled off every single color he tried.

"Hey", Taeyong greets him as he stands up from the couch, his face uncertain as he takes in Mark's clearly deplorable condition, "Is it a bad time?"

Mark rubs his eyes, as if that's gonna erase the dark circles that are surely under them, "No, it's... it's fine. Come on, let's go outside."

Taeyong follows as Mark leads the way to the porch and sits on the bench, his stomach breeding even more unpleasant emotions that collide with those of shame that were already there. They sit in silence for a moment, Mark with his eyes fixed on his hands, on the little girl that passes riding her bike, on the occasional butterfly that flies by.

"So...", Taeyong starts with caution, "What's going on?"

Mark scratches his neck and glances at Taeyong, and he's wearing such a concerned expression that it makes him hate himself even more for being the culprit.

He sighs, "I don't even know where to start, to be honest. It's so stupid."

Taeyong reaches inside his jeans and takes out a little paper, "How about here?"

Mark flinches at the sight of the thing that made his life spiral out of control, "Oh, God", he says, "Taeyong, I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"I don't know, I— I feel like I really fucked it up for some reason. It's all Jaemin's fucking fault, though, you weren't supposed to ever read that."

"Yeah I figured it'd been Jaemin. I mean, I did find it on the counter but given the way you reacted I supposed he sneaked up at some point and left it there."

"I should have burnt the damn thing or not even write it in the first place."

Taeyong laughs, "Don't say that. It's actually so sweet, I didn't know you felt that way towards me."

Mark's cheeks go red and he looks away, "I'm sorry."

"No, Mark—", Taeyong sighs as he tries to find the right words, "You don't have to apologize. I just— I feel so bad for not noticing. All of last year when you hanged out with Mina and me—"

"I thought the three of us were hanging out."

"No, yeah, we were, but— you know what I mean."

He does, but still doesn't say anything.

"Do you...", Taeyong starts carefully, "Do you still feel this way?"

Mark bites his lower lip, trying to repress the urge to scream or throw up all those damn emotions that are piling up inside him, "I don't know. I mean, I thought I did, but lately I've been feeling so— weird."

"How so?"

"I, um, lied to you. Well, sort of? Not with words", he finally looks at Taeyong, and this one furrows his eyebrows, "You know that guy I went to the store with that time?," Mark takes a deep breath, the whole ridiculousness of what he's about to say making him cringe already, "We kind of fake dated for a while so that you'd think I was over you— or something", he blurts out as fast as he can.

Taeyong stares at him for a moment, expressionless. Then he starts laughing, "And you thought I'd fall for that?"

Mark raises his eyebrows at him, startled by his reaction.

"Mark", Taeyong says with a smile, "Come on— the look in your face that day. I mean yeah you were holding hands and all but you looked so terrified."

Mark shuts his eyes and puts his hands to his temples, "Oh my god, are you telling me I did all that shit for nothing?"

"Well, not for _nothing_. You certainly freaked yourself out."

Mark hides his face in his hands and bends over as he lets out a lament.

Taeyong laughs lightly, "You wanna talk about those weird feelings that've been bothering you?"

Mark lets go then, and as he finally words out all the strange emotions he's been carrying, the rock in his stomach and the wildfire and the bees— it all slowly starts to fade, even though a small portion of it still remains.

"Everything was sort of okay", he says after catching Taeyong up on his hectic past weeks, "Until last night, when just honestly out of nowhere I started saying all these _things_."

"What do you mean out of nowhere?"

"I guess the damn shots of vodka or whatever was in those cups contributed, or maybe Yuta's secret love punch."

Taeyong laughs, "What?"

"Ugh, nothing. The thing is now I'll have to move to another country and change my freaking identity cause he's going to hate me."

"Okay", Taeyong moves on his seat and puts his hands together, as if he's going to lay out a whole speech for him, "First of all, he's not going to hate you, that's crazy. And second of all, I don't think those things you said came randomly and out of nowhere."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you so clearly _like_ this guy."

"No, no way!", Mark says, shaking his head, "I _know_ how having a crush feels like and this isn't it, for real."

Taeyong takes out the damn piece of paper again and Mark flinches, "Okay, so, these things you wrote about me? How you like the way I dress however I want, and work on my own music, and—"

"Please don't", says Mark with a pained expression.

"Alright, well, all these things... I mean, it sounds like you admired these things and wanted them for yourself too, but not actually me."

Mark looks at him, confused.

"Okay", this one continues, "Do you feel the same way towards him as you felt towards me?"

Mark scratches his neck, "I don't know. I mean it's _different_ , somehow. It's like... Like, when I thought about you I never really thought about, um, actually being with you or anything. I don't know, it's like I looked at you from the outside, if that makes sense, and with Donghyuck I'm standing in the middle of a fucking tornado and he's in there too and everything's so weird and uncertain. He makes me so _angry_ , too— that can't be how liking someone feels, it's too awful."

Taeyong looks at him with warm eyes and laughs, "Ah, Mark. You can really be naive sometimes."

Mark hadn't realized how much he missed Taeyong as his friend. After talking things out they'd spent all afternoon playing videogames in Mark's living room, Jaemin annoyingly narrating everything that happened on screen as he lay on the couch eating a bag of chips. It all felt so familiar and cozy, and Mark finally felt at peace for a little while.

But that feeling couldn't last forever, and soon it was Monday morning again and he was on his porch waiting for Hyuck to pick them up for school. They hadn't texted at all since Saturday night's occurrences, and Mark feared he may not even show up. But he did, and Mark didn't quite know if he was relieved or if he'd preferred to just stay on his porch all day and avoid seeing him altogether.

"Hey", Hyuck greets him when they get in, "Did you drink your water?"

Mark throws a quick glance at him and half-smiles, "Yeah, I did."

"Good, cause I was all ready to throw hands and everything", there's a light and mocking tone in his words, but he doesn't quite look at him when he says them.

They spend most of the journey in silence, Jaemin blurting out random yells and swears as he plays some game on his phone. Hyuck's eyes never leave the front of the car, his face relaxed but unreadable.

As he finally parks at the school lot Jaemin thanks Hyuck like he always does and runs to the school. Mark puts his hand on the door, ready to say a quick farewell, when Hyuck speaks.

"Wait", he unfastens his seatbelt and turns towards him, "I, uh, have to talk to you about something."

Already imagining what he's about to say Mark turns to him too and braces himself for the terrible impact, his fate having already been accepted after a long night of restless sleep.

"Renjun wants to get back together."

Mark looks at him in silence as his words sink in, surprised at first, then relieved, then disheartened.

"Oh", he says at last, looking away, "Well, I guess it all worked out in the end". He can't help but feel a deep pit in his stomach, and he wants nothing more than to get lost inside it. "So that's where you disappeared during the party."

"Yeah", Hyuck says, and they both stay quiet for a while.

He can't take it anymore.

"Look, I'm really sorry for what happened the other night, I honestly didn't know what I was saying", he blurts out, "Like I was really, really drunk, you know, and—"

"It's okay", Hyuck cuts him, "Really, you don't have to apologize."

Everything feels so awkward, Hyuck acting so curtly and not like his snappy self at all.

"What about Taeyong?", Hyuck says, that being the first time he actually uses his name, "You can still, like, tell him we're dating if you want."

"No, It's fine, I—", Mark doesn't want to explain the whole thing to him, and he's honestly starting to feel a bit frustrated, "Everything's fine, me and Taeyong are back to being friends and you and Renjun are back to being a couple until he gets bored and dumps you again."

 _Oh no_ , thinks Mark as he realizes what he's said. But it's too late, and Hyuck's already looking at him like that.

" _What?_ "

"God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", Mark says, "It's just... I don't know why you'd want to get back with him."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Beause he always does this. He breaks up with you all the time cause he knows you're gonna run back to him."

"I don't _run back_ to him. And why does it bother you anyway?", Hyuck pierces him with his big dark eyes and Mark looks away, embarrassed.

"It doesn't _bother_ me, it's just—"

"You agreed to do this! Why are you complaining if this was the whole point of the stupid plan?"

"I know it was but the fact that he just expects you to go back with him like nothing happened—"

"That's because nothing happened!"

A sharp silence falls between them, and Mark feels his chest tighten.

"What do you know about relationships, anyway", Hyuck says bitterly.

"Hyuck, I'm so sorry—"

"Don't", he cuts him, eyes staring blankly through the windshield, "Just go."

Mark wishes it didn't feel like an actual break up, but it does. He'd gotten so used to sitting at Hyuck's table at lunch, to him driving Mark and Jaemin home from school while they complained about all the stupid assignments they had, to Hyuck being so warm and even sweet when he wasn't teasing him about random things or being playfully mean. It even feels more like a break up because the rest of the school thinks it was one, as everyone keeps reminding him with their annoying whispers and quick glances. Luckily Johnny knows him too well to make him talk about the whole thing so he keeps trying to distract him and invites him to different parties and events, all of which Mark declines.

Every time he sees Hyuck and Renjun holding hands in the hallway he goes the other way, even if that makes him be late for class. Not even three days had passed before they were back together and it felt so much like a betrayal, which didn't make any sense since Hyuck and him weren't actually dating in the first place. It's a living nightmare, and every time he crosses so much as a glance with Hyuck his heart feels like it's being pierced by a million knives.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Renjun wasn't so determined to make his life even more miserable, using every chance he got to throw a mean comment at him. Over the years it'd gotten to a point where it was almost routine for them to exchange hateful remarks, neither of them really getting offended, but not feeling sympathetic either. But now that this whole drama was between them it'd become unbearable, the mere presence of the guy reminding him of everything that'd gone wrong over the past few weeks.

So that's why when they bump into each other in the restroom and Renjun starts with his shit again Mark just snaps.

"Oh my God, will you ever stop throwing shit at me every chance you get? What did I ever do to you?"

"You mean besides stealing my boyfriend?"

"We already talked about that, no one was _stealing_ anything, and maybe this whole thing wouldn't have happened if you didn't treat him like shit in the first place."

"Oh, cause you're Mr. fucking perfect", Renjun scoffs, "This is so you."

"What does that mean?"

"You used to do it all the time when we were friends. You never gave a shit about me liking Hyuck, always acting so _cute_ around him."

"What? I never did that."

"Yeah, you did. Writing poems for him and all, how do you think I would feel?"

Mark stares at him, wide eyed, "What? How did you know that?"

Renjun rolls his eyes, "I slept over at your house all the time, you idiot. Of course I was going to find that stupid can of yours."

Mark gapes at him, unable to believe what he's hearing.

" _That's_ why you stopped taking to me? You found a stupid poem in my room and just assumed I didn't care about you? I didn't even give it to him!"

Renjun looks away from him, "Well, it doesn't matter now anyway, does it?", he says bitterly.

Without throwing a glance at him Renjun grabs his backpack and leaves, leaving Mark feeling more confused than anything.

Was this real? Had they really been fighting all those years because of something that stupid? Of course he knew Renjun had a crush on Hyuck when they were younger, that's the whole reason why he hadn't given him the damn poem, song, whatever the fuck that damned thing was. But maybe his feelings had shown on his face, on his attitude towards Hyuck, even if he didn't intend to, hurting his friend in the process.

It would be easier if Renjun just hated him for no reason. It would make more sense, at least, and he wouldn't feel as bad as he does now.

The school year is finally over, which means Mark will get to stay away from Hyuck and Renjun and all of that for a couple of months, during which he'll hopefully forget about the whole thing and get the hell on with his life. That horizon doesn't look promising, he discovers, given that every time he tries to focus on his music and write some lyrics they end up being about Hyuck, despite all his efforts to talk about a completely different subject. So he ends up learning some covers and helping Taeyong with his own music instead, and in exchange this one teaches him how to rap. It's kind of bizarre at first, to be honest, but with some time and practice Mark starts to get good at it.

As corny as it sounds it makes sense that the butterflies in his stomach won't go away, given the amount of the real ones that fly all over his garden in the sunny afternoon. It's almost as if crushes hurt the most when it's Summer and there's flowers everywhere and everyone looks so relaxed and happy.

"Hey, Loser", Jaemin says later as he enters Mark's room without even knocking, "I'm going to Jeno's."

Mark stares at him from his computer, earphones hanging from his neck as he waits for his brother to elaborate. Jaemin just stays there, expectant.

"I'm not driving you there", Mark says as he turns to his computer again.

"Pleeeeease!"

"It's ten blocks from here, fucking walk."

"But it's hooooot", he approaches Mark and smothers him with a hug, "I'll pay you."

"I don't want your dirty money", Mark says as he struggles to break free from his killing embrace, "I don't even want to know where you get it from."

"Ugh, fine! I'll ask someone else then."

"You don't know anyone who drives, except mom and she's at work."

"I have my resources", Jaemin states proudly as he walks out of his room, not even closing the door afterwards.

Mark sighs in resignation as he stands up and walks towards it.

"Fucking close the door next time!", he yells angrily as he does so himself.

He should've known something bad would happen. Every time Jaemin did anything remotely different from the ordinary he fucked up monumentally, and everyone around him had to deal with the consequences.

So as Mark is peacefully reading a book after his mom's gone to sleep, he starts to feel suspicious. At first it's just one message that makes his phone buzz, far away on his desk, so he doesn't mind it. But then it's like a freaking earthquake is taking place on his little table and he catches the phone before it dramatically falls to the floor.

He's got like fifteen missed calls from Jaemin, of course.

Mark anxiously calls his brother, feeling half angry at him for ending up in whatever mess he's in and half concerned because, well, he _is_ his little brother after all.

"Jaemin, are you alright?", Mark says when the other one answers.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine", Mark hears some loud music behind him, and he puts the phone closer to his ear to listen better, "I just, uh— I kind of need your help on something. Don't tell mom."

Mark sighs in resignation as he covers his face, "What did you do?"

"The guys and I may have sort of crashed Doyoung's birthday party and Jisung may have gone overboard with the drinks."

"What? What are you doing at Doyoung's party?"

"We were bored, okay? Also Jeno has this big crush on him", _I don't have a crush on him!!_ Mark hears in the background followed by some muffled noises, "Thing is Jisung's throwing his lungs out and I don't know, we may need to take him to the hospital?"

Mark was already on his feet when he heard him say _don't tell mom_.

"Where are you?", he asks as he quietly goes down the stairs and grabs the car keys.

"Yuta's. Thank youuuuu!"

He's going to kill Jaemin one of these days, Mark thinks as he starts the car.

In less than five minutes he's already going inside Yuta's house. This time the lights are blue, and he swims through the crowd of rowdy teenagers as he desperately looks for his brother.

"Little Mark!"

Mark turns around to find Yuta gleefully smiling at him, and before he can say anything the guy throws his arms around him, "You got the invitation after all."

"Where are the kids?", Mark asks anxiously as he pulls away from him.

"What kids?"

"My brother told me they were here."

"Dude, like I'm letting _children_ inside my house", Yuta turns to greet someone and Mark looks around the sea of people, not one recognizable face under the blue lights, "Wait right here", Yuta tells him, "I'll get you a drink."

Yuta disappears into the crowd, leaving Mark cluelessly wander through the living room. He takes out his phone and calls Jaemin, but doesn't get an answer. His anxiety starts going through the roof and he's about to freaking stop the music and start calling his brother's name, until someone taps him on the shoulder.

He turns around and finds Donghyuck, and he's looking so stunningly beautiful under the blue lights and he hasn't seen him in such a long time that he has to catch his breath for a moment, completely forgetting his current mission.

"Hey", Hyuck says softly, and Mark wants to crawl under the couch and die because he's so not over him, and it hurts so much, "You look lost."

Like waking from a spell Mark shakes his head and remembers what he's actually doing there, going back to his anxious state.

"Have you seen Jaemin? He just called and I don't know why they would even _be_ here but—"

"I think you should check your phone", Hyuck says with a grin.

Mark furrows his eyebrows and does as he says, and when he sees Jaemin's text he swears he's so ready to go over to Jeno's house and fucking smother his brother to death with a pillow.

 _tricked ya_ , Jaemin's text says, attached to a picture of him with an empty cup of what had surely been a tall americano and Jisung, perfectly sober, playing some videogames in the background with Chenle and Jeno.

Mark raises his eyes from his phone and looks at Donghyuck, who's grinning.

"Was this your idea?"

"Well, _sort of_ , but Jaemin's a pretty good schemer too, I've got to admit—"

"I almost had a heart attack!!", Mark yells, "I barely made it alive cause I almost hit a fucking lamp post!!"

"Oh", says Hyuck with a grimace, "Yeah, we forgot about _that_ factor."

Mark stares at him with his mouth open, "I— I— ugh, did you do this to mess with me? Are you that mad at me? Stop laughing!"

"Sorry, sorry", Hyuck says as he composes himself, "I'm not mad at you. I just wanted to talk but you wouldn't get out of your goddamn cave."

"Couldn't you, I don't know, go to my house instead of almost sending me to the hospital with a severe case of anxiety??"

"Ugh, no, that would've been so corny."

Mark looks at him in disbelief as he finally starts to calm down. They're still in the middle of the living room and they sort of have to scream in order to hear each other.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry", Hyuck says, serious now, "That day in my car, I totally blew you off and you were just trying to help."

"What? No, Hyuck", Mark shakes his head, suddenly serious too at the memory of that day, "I was the one who was wrong. I was so out of line, talking about you and Renjun like I knew anything about it— I'm the one who's sorry."

They just stay there for a moment, static in the middle of the ever-flowing mass of people.

"See, imagine how _awkward_ it would be if we were having this conversation by your doorway", Hyuck says, "Just admit my idea was genius and saved us both at least _some_ embarrassment."

Mark rolls his eyes, "It's always some crazy idea with you."

"What can I say, this town is freaking boring", Hyuck smiles at him, and just with that Mark is reminded of why he likes him so much, "Come on, let's get something to drink."

"I'm not taking anything from Yuta, though", Mark says as they make their way to the kitchen.

"Doyoungie", Taeil is saying when they get there, a big smile on his face as he wraps an arm tightly around the other one, "Now that you're of age I can finally pass on the duty of alcohol-shopping to you. Good luck!"

Doyoung, who's just turned eighteen today, looks down at him, terrified.

Mark wishes a happy birthday to the guy as Hyuck gets them some beers, Yuta looking broken-hearted when they tell him they're not drinking his sinful punch again.

"But this one's different", he pouts, "It's blue!"

Hyuck yells some not-so-sincere apology over his shoulder as he guides Mark out to the garden. Yuta didn't make any changes out here, and the fairy lights are still flowing from the tree-branches like a continuation of the starry sky.

With the new change of scenery Mark gets to look at Hyuck properly. His hair has grown a bit and falls softly over his eyebrows, his skin kissed by a light summer tan. He's wearing a pastel pink t-shirt that honestly only Donghyuck could pull off that well, and most importantly he's looking right at him over his paper cup.

Mark looks away quickly, "So, uh, how are things with you and Renjun?", he asks, suddenly remembering the annoying little guy.

"Oh, we're great. I think I saw him with his date over there."

Mark looks back at him and raises his eyebrows, "Date?"

"Yeah, well... We'd been together for so long we didn't really see all the bad stuff that was going on. It was a matter of time before we broke up for good, honestly."

"Oh", Mark hides behind his cup, "And how did he take it?"

"I mean he was furious at first, but after a while he sort of said I was right, which felt awesome."

"Renjun telling someone they're right, that's a thing I never thought I'd see."

"I told you he's not as bad as you think. You two would get along pretty well if you finally stopped with all that bickering."

"Maybe, although a bit utopic as for now."

Their eyes meet for just a second before looking away.

"And how are things with pink guy?", Hyuck says.

"He's actually purple guy now, after being blue guy and also green guy for a few days", Hyuck raises an eyebrow in disbelief, "I know, he'll be bald by thirty."

"By twenty-five, I may say."

"Yeah. Anyway, we're still friends."

"Oh. And what about your, you know, your little crush on him", Hyuck hides behind his drink as he takes another sip, his doe eyes peeking over the cup with curiosity.

"I realized it was more of a platonic thing."

"Ohh. And how did you realize that?"

"Well, it just, um— it felt different."

"Different from what?"

Mark looks down at Hyuck, whose dark eyes are gleaming under the fairy lights. They had been getting closer as they talked, and as Mark catches a scent of that familiar sweet cologne those annoying butterflies start fluttering inside him again.

"Ha! Got you!"

Mark watches in shock as Yuta appears out of nowhere and grabs Hyuck by his waist. He lifts him up like he weighed no more than a feather and carries him to the pool, the other one kicking and screeching during the whole process. Yuta throws him to the pool with an evil laughter, and when Hyuck emerges from the water with a sad look on his face it's so endearing Mark can't stop himself from laughing.

Hyuck spots him from the pool and glares at him. "The hell you're laughing at, Mark Lee", he says as he walks clumsily towards the edge.

"He just lifted you up, like a little puppy", Mark says, grabbing his sides as he keeps on laughing.

"Well, you're not so much of a titan yourself, are you", he reaches the edge of the pool and extends his arm at him, raising his eyebrows, "You're gonna stand there and laugh or you're gonna help me out?"

Mark leaves his paper cup on the floor and approaches, still laughing.

"Yeah, sorry", he grabs Hyuck's hand, and his smile instantly wipes from his face when he sees the other one grin with malice, "No, no, wait!", he yells, but Hyuck's already grabbing him tight and before Mark can do anything he's inside the pool with him.

Now Hyuck's the one who can't stop laughing, and Mark stares at him with the agony of betrayal. He throws water at him, but at this point it's honestly no use cause they're already pretty fucking soaked.

"Ughhhh, my phoneeee", Mark cries as he takes it from his jeans and shakes it. Hyuck stops laughing and looks for his own.

"Oh, fuck", he says when he sees it's not working, "Nakamoto Yuta, you better fucking RUN", he yells at the guy, who's just enjoying himself as he watches the whole situation. He blows a kiss at them and runs inside the house.

Mark gets out of the pool and stands on the grass, soaked from head to toe and miserably staring at his phone. Hyuck joins him, wet hair covering his eyes.

"Sorry", he says with an apologetic smile, "They never show _this_ part in movies, huh?"

Mark looks down at him, and he knows he should be mad but just seeing him all drenched like a little deer who got caught in the rain makes his heart melt.

"It's fine, I'll just put it in rice or whatever."

"You know", Hyuck says, throwing a quick glance at him, "My house is just around the corner. We could, like, rice them up while I lend you some dry clothes."

Mark moves his hair from his forehead as he feels something flutter inside his chest.

"Yeah, okay."

The go over to Hyuck's house then, and Mark marvels at how pretty it is with its wooden walls and white windows. All the lights are out, so his parents are probably sleeping.

"OH MY GOD MARK LEE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU BOUGHT THREE POUNDS OF POT", Hyuck yells at the top of his lungs when they get in.

Mark jumps and slaps him on the arm, "What the hell are you doing??", he hisses, throwing a frightened look at the stairs, "You want your parents to fucking hate me?"

Hyuck looks at his scared expression and laughs, "They're not home, dumbass. Went on their third honeymoon or something."

Mark puts a hand to his chest as the other one closes the door and turns the lights on, "You're gonna fucking kill me one of these days."

"You're just too easy to fool", Hyuck says with a shrug, "Just don't tell anyone I have the house for myself, I don't want those weirdos wilding all over my living room."

They go to the kitchen and Hyuck takes out the rice, which he pours into two bowls.

"Why don't we put them in one bowl?", Mark asks.

"I don't want your greedy phone stealing all the rice from mine", he states pridefully as he takes Mark's phone from his hand and buries it.

"I don't think it works like that but whatever, it's your rice you're wasting."

Hyuck looks up and raises a finger at him, "Don't go smart on me, Mark Lee. It's my house you're at, don't forget that."

Mark smiles, and maybe he imagines it but Hyuck's eyes seem to flicker for just a moment down to his lips and back to his eyes again.

"Anyway, let's get us some dry clothes", Hyuck says quickly as he goes out of the kitchen.

Mark follows him to his room, and when Hyuck turns on a little light he notices there's a book on his bed. He realizes it's one of the mangas he'd given to him, and when Hyuck sees him looking at it he grabs it quickly and hides it behind his back.

"I—I was going to return it!", he says as he hastily puts it with the other ones, neatly piled on his desk, "I just figured I'd look kind of stupid, you know, not even knowing if you were going to show up and being all like 'walk into the club like what up i got a big—a big bag full of... mangas.'"

Mark raises his eyebrows in amusement and Hyuck looks away. "I'll get us some towels", he says shyly as he goes to the bathroom.

Mark is left alone in the middle of the room, the dim light of the night stand on as he contemplates the situation. He's never been to Hyuck's room before, and the silence of the empty house as he waits for him makes the butterflies in his stomach turn into bees, or wasps, or anything that stings to be honest.

He finally comes back and hands him a towel and a black t-shirt.

"I could give you some jeans too but I don't know how they'd fit", he says.

"It's okay."

They stare at each other for a moment, both completely soaked, the static of the quiet room buzzing between them.

"Okay, I'll give you some privacy", Hyuck says as he goes over to his bed and turns his back to him.

Mark turns around as well and starts to take off his shirt, but stops. The mutant butterflies slash bees slash wasps are fucking killing him. He can't go on like this, he can't keep bottling up his emotions.

He turns towards Hyuck, who has already changed his shirt and is now dabbing his hair with the towel, his back still to him. He approaches slowly, black strands of hair falling over his eyes.

"Hyuck", he says quietly, almost dreaming the word. Hyuck turns and looks up to him with gleaming eyes, still holding the towel to his head, making the mutant bees go crazy.

"Um", Mark says, his ears going red as he looks away, "I, um, I have to tell you something, kind of."

He chances a glance at Hyuck and sees that he's still looking at him, expectant. He takes a deep breath, "I kind of, um, like you— like, _like_ like you, and uh— I don't want you to be weirded out or anything, but I just couldn't live knowing that—"

He doesn't get to finish the sentence, because Hyuck lets the towel fall to the floor as he closes the distance between them and puts his lips on his. Mark gets startled, surprised by the other's reaction, and he stays frozen as Hyuck steps back and looks up at him. Mark widens his eyes, his cheeks red.

Hyuck frowns at him, "Don't tell me you've changed your mind, Mark Lee, because if I just—"

Mark bends over and silences him with another kiss, his hands softly cupping Hyuck's cheeks. Hyuck raises his head to him and puts his hands around his neck, pulling him closer as he does so. It's so warm and sweet Mark feels like he's dreaming, and even more when he grabs Hyuck by the waist making the other one lightly bite his lower lip before opening his mouth. Hyuck's hands wander through Mark's wet hair, and it just feels so insanely good he feels like he's going to suddenly wake up and find out he's been asleep the whole time.

After a moment they slowly pull apart, and as Mark rests his forehead on Hyuck's own he realizes, it's not a dream, because it doesn't— it _couldn't_ get more real than this.

"I really like you", he says, his heart feeling like it's about to burst as he feels Hyuck's warm body against his, "And not folded a million times and stuffed inside a little can but like, here, in the real world."

Hyuck grins as he looks up at him, "That's so corny", he says, and then whispers to his lips, "But I like that. And you."

Mark goes for another kiss but Hyuck steps back just a millimeter, "You almost killed me from all that anticipation, though", he says, "Like oh my God, could you talk _any_ slower?"

Mark shakes his head, "Like I once said, we can't ever share a nice moment around here."

Hyuck grins and kisses him again, holding him so close that his dry shirt is now wet because of Mark's.

They stay like that for what appears to be decades, ages, until a sudden ringing makes them both jump. They would just ignore it and go on with their thing, if it wasn't for the insisting banging on the door that follows.

They go down to the living room with caution and Hyuck opens the door to a grinning Yuta.

"Heeey", he says innocuously, "My folks sort of showed up without warning and now they're kicking everyone out."

"That's too bad", Hyuck says, voice drenched in sarcasm, "Good thing I don't care."

He starts closing the door but Yuta puts his foot in the way, "You _should_ care, actually, cause I've told everyone we could party at your place since your parents are on their honeymoon."

"What?", Hyuck opens the door and watches in horror as a hoard of teenagers march towards his house, their yells and footsteps growing louder as they approach, "How— how do you know my parents aren't home?"

"Hyuckie", he replies with a dashing smile, "I'm Nakamoto Yuta, I know everything and everyone in this praiseworthy neighborhood."

Hyuck stares with his mouth open as people start shamelessly entering his house, arms filled with bottles. Someone even brought some speakers from which techno music is already flowing.

"Yeahhhhh, birthday party part two!", yells a very drunk Doyoung as he enters the house with his arm around Jungwoo's waist, who's smiling widely as he holds a bottle of lemon vodka to his chest.

"Hyuckie, do we have ice?", Sicheng asks as he drops a minifridge full of beer on Hyuck's arms, who's miserably watching Taeil unceremoniously throw himself on the couch.

In less than two minutes the house is invaded by teenagers, the suddenness of it all having been powerful enough to leave Donghyuck speechless, an achievement rarely obtained by anyone.

Mark approaches his not-anymore-fake date and kisses him on the cheek. Hyuck looks up to him, arms still hopelessly grabbing the minifridge.

"I told you they were evil", he tells him as Yuta snatches a beer from the minifridge and gets inside as well.

"Don't worry, they'll never be as mean as you", Mark smiles, and as he kisses him lightly on the lips he thinks, even if it was scary as hell expressing his emotions, it was all worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> hiii! 
> 
> i hope you liked my humble fic, it's my first time writing something nct related so i was a bit nervous hehe
> 
> i accientally made taeyong's hair chronologically canon compliant with the kick it/punch eras, and it kind of makes sense given that mark was suddenly kicked and punched by all these Feelings™
> 
> thank you so much for reading! i love you! ♡
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/cryojun)   
>  [cc](https://curiouscat.me/hamleting_)


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